(Music) Here's a letter we received. "Hello Pastor John, my name is Mara and I am only a kid, but I know my faith matters even at my age. I know that I have a relationship with God and that I can talk to Him or rely on Him, but sometimes it's hard to tell.

What I'm really asking is, is there some way for me to know how good of a relationship I have with God? I haven't had any really hard times that make me question my faith. I know my time will come when that will happen, but is there a way for me to know right now if I'm on the right track?

Thank you, Pastor John." Mara, you have a very, very good question. And it isn't any different for an adult, by the way. Your question for a child is the same question lots of adults have, including me from time to time. Is there some way for me and you to know how good our relationship with God is?

And the reason it's a good question is that the Bible itself asks the question. 2 Corinthians 13, 5, "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you, unless indeed you fail to meet the test?" So you're absolutely right to raise the question, "Are there tests?

Is there a way that I can think that would help me know if my relationship with God is a good one?" So here's the things that I want to point you to. Number one, you are saved, Mara. That is, you are forgiven for all the bad things you have done and will ever do, and you are accepted by God as his child.

You are given eternal life by faith in Jesus, not by doing good things or being a good girl. That's so crucial. Being good is like fruit on a tree, but the tree is faith in Jesus. Jesus said, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." It's trusting Jesus and believing in Jesus and receiving and embracing Jesus alone that gets us into a right relationship with God.

Or Ephesians 2, verse 8, "By grace you have been saved through faith." This is not your own doing. It is a gift of God. So, Mara, don't ever start counting your good deeds to see if you have enough of them to make God accept you. That's not the way he accepts you.

That's what the devil wants you to do, is relate to God like that. Jesus died for sinners. God declares the ungodly to be righteous. So don't think you can become good first. No, we are saved from sin through faith, not by being good. Then the Holy Spirit helps us love what is good and hate sin so that we can start to change.

That's the first and most important thing I wanted to say. Here's the second one. We still sin after we are saved. Paul said that in Romans 7. Jesus taught us to ask for forgiveness daily. John said we're liars if we say we have no sin. So, we are saved, and the Holy Spirit is inside of us, and he overcomes our old habits gradually to keep us humble.

If you were to ask me, "Pastor John, why does God take so long to make me good?" And I'm 68 years old and I'm still asking that question. Why does he take so long to make me good? And my answer is I think he keeps us humble and he keeps us broken and he keeps us desperate for himself and desperate for grace so that we don't get our pride up.

In fact, here's something amazing from 1 John 1, 7. It says, "If we say we have no sin, we're not walking in the light. But if we're walking in the light, we confess our sins." Now, that's amazing because it says, "Therefore, walking in the light," that means having a good relationship with God, "includes confessing sin," which can't mean that walking in the light means sinlessness.

It doesn't. So, one way to know you are in a good relationship with God is not that you don't ever sin, but that you recognize your sin because light is shining in your heart, and you confess it, and you say you're sorry to God for it, and you ask Jesus to cover it with his blood.

That's the second thing. We Christians must learn to deal with the fact that we continue to sin. Here's the third thing that I think is so important. God wants you to be confident that you belong to him. He doesn't want you, Mara, to worry about your relationship with him.

1 John 5, 13 says, "I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know you have eternal life." He wants us—he wants you—to enjoy confidence, enjoy assurance. He wants you to be sure that you're okay with God, so when you go to bed at night, you don't have to be afraid of anything.

You can have a real peaceful night's sleep, and even if you died in the middle of the night, you'd be okay. You'd be safe with Jesus. And here's the fourth thing. This is the big one that you ask about, I think. The Bible does help us test ourselves to see if our relationship is good.

And here are just a couple of those tests. No one can say Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit. So if your heart says, "Jesus, you are my Lord. You're my master. You're my guide. I want to know your will," that's the work of the Holy Spirit in your life.

Here's another one. "You have received the spirit of adoption," it says in Romans 8, 15, "by whom you cry, 'Abba, Father!' The Spirit himself witnesses with your spirit that you are a child of God," which means when your heart rises up from deep down and says, "God, you're my Father.

I am your child. I need a father. I'm a little child utterly dependent on you." When your heart is talking like that, that's the witness of the Holy Spirit in you. Here's another one. It says in 1 John 3, 14, "We know that we have passed out of death into life because we love the brothers." One of the effects of being loved by Jesus when he died for us and gave himself for us is that we start loving people like that, especially other Christians.

So if you find yourself loving other Christians, being glad that people are saved, and wanting to know them and be around them, that's a sign that you have been made into the family of God as well. Here's another one. It says in 1 John 3, 9, "No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning." Now, we already read in 1 John, he says, "You're a liar if you say you have no sin." So that verse doesn't mean you never sin.

What it means is there is not a pattern of behavior where you say, "I love my sin. I'm going to keep my sin. I don't care what God says. I'm going to keep on doing this. It doesn't matter to me what effect it has." If you settle in with sin, if you make friends with sin, and if you keep on pursuing sin like that, you won't ever have a right relationship with God, and you might not ever be sure you're saved.

And here's the last one, just another test. 1 John 4, 6, "Whoever knows God listens to us." "Us" there is the writers of the Bible, the apostles. And Jesus said, "My sheep hear my voice." So one of the signs that you have a good relationship with God is that you love your Bible.

You love to learn things about God. You love to know more about God. So those are five tests, Mara, that show how you can be more sure that you have a good relationship with God. But there's one strong piece of advice that I have. Don't spend most of your time testing yourself.

Don't do that. That will turn out to be a problem because you know what will happen? You'll be thinking way too much about yourself. Instead, just use the tests every now and then, but spend most of your time thinking about Jesus and thinking about his word and all that he's done and all his promises.

In other words, the best thing to do to have assurance and confidence that your relationship is good is to forget about yourself. It's just wonderful when you can know Jesus so well and spend so much time getting to know him and delight in the things that he shows you about himself from the Bible that you don't even think about yourself.

And just a couple more thoughts. God keeps you from unbelief, Mara. God holds you in his hand. My sheep hear my voice. I know them. They follow me. I give them eternal life. They will never perish. No one can snatch them out of my hand. So be confident. God will keep you.

God will make your relationship good. And the last thing I'd say is don't worry today if you'll have a good enough relationship tomorrow. Each day has its own tests, and each day has its own mercies for those tests. That's what Lamentations 322 says. His mercies are new every morning, and his faithfulness is very great.

God will give you all you need tomorrow. So thank you, Mara, for this question. I pray God will make you a strong and fruitful young woman. Thank you, Pastor John, and thank you, Mara, for writing in. We do get a lot of questions from kids and young teens, and that's humbling.

And, Pastor John, you've written several letters to young teenagers, some of which have been published at the DesiringGod.org website, probably the most popular one and the most valuable one, I think, we published back in 2011 by the title "Letter to an Incomplete, Insecure Teenager." I wish I could get this into the hands of every teen who feels incomplete and insecure.

Perhaps that's you, or maybe you know such a teen. You'll find it under the title at DesiringGod.org. Well, Christmas draws close, and it always raises the question about that star in the sky that led the wise men to Jesus. How in the world did that work? Tomorrow, Pastor John will explain the ramifications.

I'm your host, Tony Reinke. Thanks for listening to the Ask Pastor John podcast.