If I criticize you publicly, you're likely to go into fight or flight mode and then you physically cannot hear what I'm saying. So once again, I'm wasting my breath. And so don't do that. And also use core with criticism, context, observation, result, next step. There's a world of difference between saying, "Oh Kim, you're just too stupid to do this job." Like that would be awful.

Maybe it's better to say, you know, something else, say, you know, you lost credibility. In my case, that was the word that really got my attention. And my boss knew me well enough to know that that was the okay word to use with me, that it wasn't going to crush me, but it was going to get my attention.