(upbeat music) - What does Bible counselor Ed Welch say to men who are addicted to pornography? A few years back I had a chance to sit down with him at CCEF, the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation near Philadelphia. It was there that I asked Welch, the author of the book, "Addictions, A Banquet in the Grave." What does he say in counseling men who are addicted to pornography?

- Some of the things I might say would be this. It's so sad, it's so sad. Because when we look at Genesis one through three, I think we could argue that to be human is to be able to say no to temptations. That is identified as the pinnacle of humanness.

This is what distinguishes humanity. Temptations will be presented to us and we say no to temptations. So I'm speaking to a man who has lost a certain sense of humanity. There's a sadness in that. One of the questions I might ask would be, this is so sad because you must have forgotten or never known who Jesus really is.

You must have forgotten that he is the King of Kings who knows all things and is in secret places. There is no place that is private that he can't see. And I guess what I'm saying is, if a person's spouse or pastor was by them all that day, the person wouldn't struggle with internet pornography.

Given the right context, we can say no. If a person's boss is around them the entire day, they're gonna say no to alcohol if they struggle with alcohol. So you must have forgotten that our God is Emmanuel, God with us, who sees in the very best sense of the word.

There is nothing that is dark to him. Perhaps you've forgotten that his commandments are not burdensome, that his commandments can be our delight and perhaps you've forgotten that he's interested in joy. And not simply joy, but this abundant joy. Perhaps you've forgotten these things. So that would be a question that I would have.

Perhaps the second thing I would ask is, how can I help? And I say that because I can think of dozens of ways to help, but I think one of the struggles I've had or problems I've noticed in my relationship with other men is I'm the one doing all the work.

At some point, I say, okay, how about you? Do you want to change? Do you want to change? And if so, how can I help? I'll be willing to do anything. If it's in the middle of the night and they want me to be there to somehow stand between them and their temptation, I'd be delighted to do such a thing.

But I want the plan to come from them. If they're saying I want help, but they can't identify the nature of the help, I think I would find myself saying, let's pray together. Let's pray together and allow the Spirit to give you a battle plan. Because if you don't have a battle plan, you haven't truly started on this road of desiring to hate this rather than to love it.

- That was Ed Welch, Bible counselor at CCEF and the author of Addictions, A Banquet in the Grave. You can find out more about him and the CCEF at ccef.org. And of course, we have a number of episodes in the podcast archive dealing with pornography and how to fight it with the beauty of Jesus Christ.

Go to desiringgod.org, click on more at the top of the screen, and then click on the Ask Pastor John podcast icon. Well, as Pastor John wraps up his book writing leave, we welcome in one more guest for three episodes on technology. And the perspective we get is from a historian who also specializes in spiritual development.

It's a very unique perspective this man brings, and I'll ask him some questions related to digital communications technology, and particularly the distractions of Facebook and Twitter on the Christian life. That's tomorrow. I'm your host, Tony Reinke. Thanks for listening to the Ask Pastor John podcast. (silence) (silence) (silence)