Here's a moving and important and wise question from a mom. "Pastor John, my name is Malia and I'm a new mother to a baby boy. I've been thinking about the concept of suffering in relation to my son. It will be so hard to watch him suffer, but I know that he will face it one day and probably already does in his own baby way.

My question is simple. How do I prepare him for and raise him to handle suffering? What are some practical ways for young parents to teach children that suffering is part of life and that we can trust God in it?" I would sum up my answer in three steps. One, teach your son a glorious, all-encompassing, biblical worldview that puts suffering in its proper place.

So teaching. Number two, discipline him with appropriate firmness and require of him self-denial. One is teach. Number two is discipline. And third, model for him trust and joy in the midst of your own suffering and sorrow. So let me take those one at a time and just give a little bit of fleshing out on some Bible.

Number one, teach your son a glorious, all-encompassing, biblical worldview that has suffering in its proper place. When I think of what that worldview would include, let me just give six components. One, the world God created, created good, including our own hearts and bodies, was broken and made vulnerable and imperfect by the fall of humankind into sin.

All of sin that fall glory, fall short of the glory of God. Things are not the way they should be. We teach our children that. The basic reason they're not is sin. Death came into the world through sin. Suffering came with it. The whole creation is groaning and waiting for what God is going to do later.

So we teach the brokenness of the world. Number two, we teach our children that everyone suffers therefore. And since those who trust and follow Jesus are at odds with the sinful system of the world, Christians often suffer most. Acts 14.22, through many tribulations, we must enter the kingdom. Psalm 34.19, many are the afflictions of the righteous.

John 15.20, if they persecuted Jesus, they're going to persecute you. John 16.33, in the world you will have trouble. Romans 8.23, we all are groaning, waiting for our bodies to be renewed. So we're all going to suffer, especially Christians. Three, God is sovereign and nothing can stop him from doing what he wants to do most.

I am God and there is none like me saying my counsel will stand. I will accomplish all my purpose. Isaiah 46.10, he is stronger than the weather. He's stronger than storms and floods and lightning. He's stronger than animals, big ones that can attack you like lions and little teeny microscopic ones you can't even see that can make you sick and even kill you.

He's stronger than all the enemies that we have. He's stronger than everything. Children need to hear this. They get it. They'll embrace it more quickly than we do and they can handle the mysteries. Yes, they can. Don't ever give the impression to your son that suffering exists because God is helpless.

Number four, make the gospel crystal clear, the gospel crystal clear that God sent his son into the world to suffer with us and for us. This means that if we trust him, none of our suffering is punishment for sin. Christ bore all our punishment for sin as the basis of our acceptance with God and our hope for heaven and there will be no more suffering there.

All the suffering therefore that comes into the life of a Christian is not because God is punishing him in his wrath. Don't let children understand this, but rather it is God's fatherly discipline for the sake of holiness as Hebrews 12 and first Peter 1 5 says. Number five, therefore in all of our suffering, God is good.

God is wise. God is loving, even though painful and he has purposes for us. Romans 8 28, we never explain suffering by saying God is helpless or that Satan got the upper hand or that there are mere accidents in the world. We always handle suffering, our suffering by saying, even though we don't understand all the answers for why this particular suffering came or this particular suffering came at this particular time or this particular intensity, we don't understand those particulars.

Nevertheless, we do understand what God has taught us, namely that he's sovereign, that he's good, and he always has purposes for our everlasting joy. And the last thing that's part of this overarching worldview is the day is coming when God will set everything right. If it looks like any evil person is getting away with something in this life, he will not get away with it because God will bring him into judgment in the end.

Vengeance is mine. I will repay, says the Lord. And for every good deed that looks like it did not get repaid or got suffering instead of blessing, Luke 14 14, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just. So week in and week out, we teach these things to our children.

Speaking of them, when we rise up and when we drive in the car and when we sit at table and when we go to bed at night, saturate your child with this worldview. Number two, we discipline our children with appropriate firmness and we require self-denial. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Not only instruction, but also discipline. Proverbs 13 24, whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. And one of the reasons I think that's true, that we hate our children if we don't discipline them that way, even though it'll get you arrested in some countries or worse, get your children taken away from you, is that coddling children with no physical repercussions to their defiant behavior is preparing them to be unable to recognize the discipline of God in their lives when it comes in physical forms.

And it will come in physical forms. And we are doing them a great disservice if we haven't shown them how a loving parent can lovingly spank a disobedient child. And in general, children should be taught self-denial. That is, they should not get everything they want. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5, just like patience and sacrificial love.

And no one can be a Christian without it, because our fallen nature must be denied, put to death, as Paul says. As long as we live, we must put to death sinful desires. We need to habituate our children to lifelong patterns of saying no to selfish desires. The inability to do this is the reason thousands of kids are destroyed in life.

So don't do that to your child. Teach them self-denial. And the last thing I would say, and this may be, it's hard to rank these, but it may be the most important. We should model for our children trust and joy in the midst of our own suffering and sorrows.

They are watching. Romans 5, 3, "We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance." And James 1, 2, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet various trials." Nothing will be more powerful in the life of your children than your example of trust and joy in the midst of your own disappointments and sufferings.

In fact, I would say that the greatest challenge of parenting, at least I look back over, what, I parent 42 years or something like that so far. The greatest challenge of parenting is not primarily remembering all the things that should be taught, the catechism, but primarily a parent growing in grace and humility and trust and joy in all the ups and downs of life.

Few things will have a greater power in our children's lives to help them suffer as Christians. That's a great word, Pastor John. Thank you. We should never, never give our children the impression that suffering exists because God is helpless. That's a powerful point. On a related note, we talked about the Boudinario case, which is a family in Norway whose children were taken away for spanking.

We addressed that case in episode number 879, "Spanking is Illegal in My Country, Now What?" And also in episodes 442 and 443, I talked with guest Ted Tripp about why some parents discipline and why others don't. You might be helped by those episodes, episodes 442 and 443. All of those episodes and about a thousand more can be found in our podcast archive at DesiringGod.org/AskPastorJohn.

I'm your host, Tony Reinke. We'll see you on Wednesday. DesiringGod.org