Episode number 1000 today. It is incredible. It should be a little out of the norm, of course, and it is. Today we tackle a surprisingly common phenomenon made super convenient by the technology of the smartphone. Of course, we're talking about sending nude selfies. This is part of a growing conversation in our culture.

I recently met with the assistant principal of a large public high school here in the suburbs of Minneapolis to talk about smartphones and teens. This is what she said to me. I wrote it down so I could share it here. Quote, "In the last year, I've been shocked at how many kids, kids that you would never suspect, have naked pictures on their phones, private pictures sent between them and a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

In my job, I look through a lot of phones, and when I come across those pictures, I'm simply stunned. To me, when it comes to high school students and their smartphones, this is the most surprising trend I now see." End quote. But this is part of a much larger phenomenon happening among males specifically, who will send unsolicited nude pictures of themselves to girls out of the blue.

It's a disturbing new practice now well-documented by journalist Nancy Jo Sales in her eye-opening book, American Girls, Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers. It's a troubling book too, and a wake-up call for any parent with a daughter who has a smartphone. I say all of this to introduce today's question, which comes to us from a 20-something listener named Lily.

Lily writes in to ask this, "Dear Pastor John, I'm currently in a long-distance dating relationship with a fellow Christian. Lately, he has requested that I send pictures of myself nude, which I obliged. I now regret this decision. What would you say to young, unmarried Christians who are tempted to make this same mistake?" I think I have good biblical authority in saying on behalf of God to every one of his children, male and female, don't ever ask to see anyone naked except your spouse, and don't ever offer to show yourself to someone naked for erotic or sexual reasons, not medical reasons, except to your spouse.

And I mean don't do it in person and don't do it in pictures. And I'll give you seven reasons for why I think I have God's authority in saying that, and I hope none of you hearing me will ever do it or ever do it again. Number one, when God created man and woman, it says in Genesis 2.25, the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

That guilt-free, shame-free existence came to an end when Adam and Eve sinned. And their first experience after that sin was guilt and blame and shame. And so in Genesis 3.7, it says, "Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked, and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.

Then God had mercy on them." In Genesis 3.21, it says, "The Lord made for Adam and his wife garments of skin and clothed them." God's plan for the lifting of that shame is the sacred relationship of marriage, just like marriage is the reversal of numerous elements of the curse.

The freedom that we are to discover is not on stage. Let's take our clothes off in movies and on stage. It's not in a striptease joint. It's not in front of boyfriends or girlfriends. It's not in front of our phone. It's the profound respect and love and security of a covenant relationship called marriage.

That's where people of the most ordinary looks can be free from shame. That's what love does. Outside of that relationship, God treats nakedness as one of the most vivid forms of divine judgment. Isaiah 47.3, "Your nakedness shall be uncovered, and your disgrace shall be seen. I will take vengeance, and I will spare no one." Or Lamentations 1.8, "Jerusalem sinned grievously.

Therefore, she became filthy. All who honored her despise her, and they have seen her nakedness. She herself grooms and turns her face away." Ezekiel 16.37, "Behold, I will gather all your lovers with whom you took pleasure, all those you loved and all those you hated. I will gather them against you from every side and will uncover your nakedness to them, that they may see all your nakedness." In other words, nakedness in the covenant bed of marriage is a beautiful and thrilling thing for God's children.

But nakedness outside that relationship is a manifestation of divine judgment. Even though we have been taught as a nation by the media, by the movie industry, and by certain notorious stars to regard nudity as a form of power and distinction and fame, they glory in their shame, the Bible says.

That's number one. Number two, it follows from this, this understanding of nakedness and clothing, that the Apostle Paul would say, "Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, with what is proper for women who profess godliness." Now, all three of those words, "cosmeo," respectable, "idus," modesty, "sophrasunes," self-control, all of those three words, interestingly, have the connotation of thoughtful, serious use of a woman's mind as to how to make her clothing speak about her godliness.

Every woman should ask that question. How is what I wear and not wear speaking about my godliness? Her reverence for God and her own body as a gift of God, intended to be used to show his value to her. Clothing is not a matter of indifference in God's economy.

It speaks about a woman's and a man's view of God and her own commitments to God and joy in God and her freedom from the manipulative maneuvers of men to get what they want. That's number two. Number three, Paul assumes in 1 Corinthians 12.23 that we take special care in covering the most intimate parts of our body.

He says, "On those parts of the body that we think less honorable, we bestow greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require." That's part of the way God has helped us live with the consequences of the fall in this sinful world.

Number four, Paul tells Timothy, and by implication other young men, "Do not rebuke an older man, but encourage him as you would a father. Younger men as brothers. Treat younger men as brothers. Older women as mothers." And here's the key one, "Treat younger women as sisters in all purity." Now, what does that mean, "Treat younger women as sisters in all purity"?

It means until a man is married, he should let his proper treatment of his sister, his real sister, dictate the purity of his behavior with his girlfriend. Another way to put it would be this, "View the temptation to ask for nude pictures the same way you would view the temptation of incest." Number five, if a man asks an unmarried woman to show him her body, by definition, he is unworthy of her, unworthy of her trust, her affection, and her covenant.

That request that he's making in itself should be enough for the woman to say, "Goodbye." I really mean this, come on, women. If any woman thinks that is normal male Christian behavior, it's not. It's sick. It means he's clueless as to godliness. It means that when he gets tired of you before or after marriage, he will feel free to ask someone else to take off her clothes.

And if he can't get it in person, he'll get it from the internet, and you will have told him it's okay because you cooperated before marriage, not just in marriage. So just settle it. If he asks, he's unworthy, period. It's over. Number six, in the Song of Solomon, which exalts in nudity between a married man and woman, it says more than once, "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." That's exactly what sexually erotic pictures do that we're not supposed to do.

They stir up desire that cannot be lawfully satisfied, which means they will lead to masturbation or to fornication. I don't know what goes on inside a woman's head, but I can only think that it is a deformed sense of sexuality if a woman gets pleasure out of helping a man act like a 13-year-old boy with his masturbation.

Is that really the kind of man she wants? And finally, number seven, the least important reason, it's the least important reason and maybe the most compelling. To take such pictures is virtually certain that they will go public sooner or later, and you will discover what God meant by bringing judgment on yourself.

So with God's authority, I think I can say to both men and women, don't ask and don't give such pictures. Thank you, Pastor John, and thank you, Lily, for being willing to share this with us to spark a conversation on a topic that we need to have. 1,000 episodes.

We've made it to 1,000 episodes, and that's because of your support. So thank you for your prayers. Thank you for making this podcast a part of your routine each week. And thank you, of course, for the generous financial donations that support our work on this podcast and everything that we do at DesiringGod.org.

If you would like to financially partner with us in these gospel labors, you can go to DesiringGod.org/donate. 1,000 episodes means we also have 1,000 questions now in our archive. You can make use of them, and you'll find them all at our online home at DesiringGod.org/askpastorjohn. Well, on Friday we're going to return to talk about pets.

Are pets a distraction from the Christian life? It's a good question. Episode number 1001, coming up on Friday on pets. I'm your host, Tony Reinke. Thanks for listening.