Well, hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Everyday Educator. We are so excited because today we're going to be talking all about summer rhythms. And we know that right now community is either done for you or getting ready to be done in the next couple of days. But we want to encourage you to make sure that you stay connected to one another.

And if you want to find out more about that, of course, you can learn more about being connected in community at classicalconversations.com. So definitely go there. For today, we have a special guest, Camila Carter. Hey, Camila. Hello. Camila has been on. We're so excited, too. She's been on the Everyday Educator podcast and the Blessings in Motherhood podcast.

So if you have not heard her backstory, any other shows with her, go check those out after you listen to this one. And Lisa, of course, is here with me today as well. Hey, Lisa. Hey, Delise. Good to be with you again. So excited to talk about this today.

So like I said, today's show is all about summer rhythms. And we're going to actually break this show down into a couple of different categories. We are going to talk about education and what it looks like to continue learning. But we're also going to talk about what it looks like in the household, maybe focusing on the spiritual aspect of your life and even exploring outside of your house during the summer.

As I was preparing for this episode, I thought about that verse that says, teach us to number our days that we might gain a heart of wisdom. And I don't know about you guys, but at my church, as you walk down the hall in the children's ministry, there are these shadow boxes and they're full of pom-poms.

And there is a shadow box for every week of your child's life. So as you walk down the hall, right, you can see the pom-poms going down and they say, you know, it's about a thousand weeks that you get with your kids. And I've heard so many conflicting thoughts about that idea of kind of like numbering the days of your parenting, numbering the weeks of your parenting.

And I think it's easy for us to think of that as a negative thing. But when I look at the word, he says it's a good thing because it can cause you to gain a heart of wisdom. What do you guys think about that? Do you think of your time with your children as fleeting or as something to savor?

You know, when I was in the throes of little kids at home, motherhood, I did not think, oh, I only have this many days. Some days, really being honest, some days I was like, I can live through this day and it will be over. And so it felt like there were just a plethora of days.

It felt like there was going to be plenty of time. But as my children got older, time seemed to go faster. And I got more and more intimately aware how few days or weeks or summers I had left. I can remember as the girls moved into high school, beginning to think, well, I only have three more summers.

I only have two more summers. This is the last summer. And I remember when my daughter, my older daughter went off to college, I remember just saying to her, I want you to be prepared. It's never going to be the same. You're going to come home in the summer, but it's never going to be the same again.

And she was just like, what are you even talking about? It is going to be the same. And I just, because I wanted her to, I wanted to caution her because when she was getting ready to come home after her freshman year, I didn't want her to mourn that it wasn't the same anymore.

I wanted her to know that I had already realized it wasn't going to be the same. But I think that in the positive sense that you were saying, Delise, it does help us to think, wow, I have this many moments, this many occasions, this many vacations, this many Bible schools to celebrate with my children.

And I'm going to make sure that I savor them because I now know on the back end, you will be missing them. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. I'm so glad that Lisa went first because I have been struck recently by this thought of seasons, right? When I've been in the same season, so to speak, for so long.

And now my first has launched and my kids came really quickly, so they're going to leave just as quickly. Yes. Allegedly. But, and I keep telling myself, this is a good thing. Like you get to go to somewhere new. Now you get to experience, Lord willing, being a grandmother with David as a granddad.

And like, are we going to travel to see the kids? Are the kids going to come here? It's going to be something totally new. And I have been just trying to like, you know, think forward while still appreciating this because I think that a lot of times when you see women that are holding on to the previous seasons, it starts to get ugly.

And I just want to honor the Lord in every season. So I'm right at this changing, so to speak. This is a time in real seasons where everybody gets sick. And that's what I told myself spiritually is when the seasons start changing, this is when you get sick. And so I've just been really trying to have my heart be glad that it's about to be different for me.

Is this going to look different? And so I don't know. I think that the, I still have people here and then I have one child that's gone. So my life is already very different, right? How do you, how do you appropriately helicopter mom, somebody who lives several states away?

I'm not doing great. I do still send him random texts. Like a couple of weeks ago, I sent him a text. Are you getting fat? And he just called me. Are you okay? What's happening, mom? What are you doing right now? Where are you coming from? I was just, I don't know.

You just keep, every time I call you, you're eating out. You're eating ice cream. You're eating boba. You're like, so I just need to, are you working out? Are you doing the things? So anyway, I just have been very struck by this. So it's very good to hear from the next season.

This is still good. It's still, it's still different. It's still changing, but it's still, um, still desirable, right? This is the first time I saw those marbles that I saw the marbles. Oh yeah. Yes. Oh my word. David had to talk me down. I was like, please don't say those things to me.

Stop. We're running out. We don't, we're starting over. And so I just, I panicked, but the Lord does tell us to number our days. And so it is a good thing. And I've just been really trying to focus on, um, his goodness now and that in the future, I'll be able to look back and see his goodness.

Oh, so true. Camille is so true. I remember thinking like when my girls were growing up, like I sort of mourned as they grew from preschooler to elementary to a little bit older to I mourned it because I loved every little stage, but then somebody would say, well, would you go back to those days?

And my knee jerk was, well, yes, I would. But actually I love who they are now. And I love the relationship we have now. And so I really held hard to that. Um, I will find something beautiful. The Lord will show me the next beautiful vista. Like this closing of a curtain is not darkness.

It's just time to open a new curtain. It's going in a new direction. And, and I will tell you, Camilla, I will tell you. Grandparenting. Oh my gosh. It's the best. It is the best. It is like having your kids be little again, um, without as much of the, it all rest on me worry.

Okay. Cause it doesn't all rest on me. I get to play with this little person. My grandson told me the other day, Lolly, you are my best buddy ever. And so I get to be the best buddy ever and not do all the other things that aren't as much fun.

Yes. It's great. For real. Yes. Ah, that's so great. Yeah. It's exciting. Yeah. I remember like five years ago being like, I, I met my husband when he was 19. And I remember being like, I think that's inappropriate and I am against it. I don't know. Stop. Whoa. Right.

And now my son will be 19 this year. And I'm like, he could meet her. That's fine. This is appropriate. We can do that. Yeah. I'll have to do it with this. I'll allow it. I'll allow it. There you go. So much to look forward to. I love it.

And you know, today, so I love that we started talking about seasons and now we're going to hone in really tightly on one specific season, which is the summertime. And you know, you, you never know how many, how many summers you're going to get with your kids, which while it matters on the other hand, it doesn't matter.

All you need to look at is this summer. What are we doing now? Right. And one of the most common things I hear homeschool moms hem and haw about, or just feel unsure about is the academics in the summer. Like, do we do school? Do not do school? Do they view it as a time where you're just taking a break?

What does that look like if you take a break? How do you get back into it? You know, are your kids going to forget everything? How do you ladies, how do you ladies view the summertime academically, scholastically speaking? Is that a time where you guys just take a break from your studies or is that just a different sort of season for you guys?

Camila, why don't you go first? I am probably not going to be the most common, but I don't do a thing. No, I used to have grand plans for the summer. Okay. I would come up with, I'll be like, oh baby, we're going to be speaking French. I would have these grand plans and then they would just sit and accumulate dust.

And I'll be like, oh, my hard work that I spent, you know, two months really, really strategizing about. And then you feel guilty that you didn't do it. Like who needs that? Ridiculous. Ridiculous. And so we do not do academics in the summer. I am faithful with math. Math tends to be the thing that lingers a little bit longer.

So I do make them finish our whole math curriculum, which usually I tell my kids, if you're diligent, you're finished by June 1st. If you do what your mom says. So, um, they, it's my goal for them to all be finished with their math by June 1st. And then other than that, we, we don't even pre-read the books for challenge.

I know that some people think that it's working for you. You found the rhythm that works for your family. And that's really cool. Um, I will tell you that I was always more like that. Like I, when my kids were involved with CC, almost every year I tutored. And so, I mean, by the end of May, I was looking for a break too.

I had done all that logic or all that chemistry or all that paper writing. And I thought I deserve a break today. And you too can have a break today. So we did not do, I mean, we, we did, I look back now and I realize that we practiced the skills of learning.

We still had really rich conversations and we were just nerdy enough to find books about the places we visited on vacation and have history conversations. But we did not, you know, have a lesson. We didn't sit down at the table. There weren't assignments because there were so many other things to savor about the summer.

So you're not doing academics, Miss Camila, with your family. What are y'all savoring this summer? So we just really savor time together. So the summertime for me is about relationships. First and foremost, I try to, a lot of people try to fill academic gaps. The summertime is when I try to fill spiritual gaps.

I am, I am the things that I've seen all throughout the school year that have kind of like bothered me about particular kids, like questions that I asked and they didn't know where I was coming from or the way they were relating to, um, uh, authority or each other, even just those little things.

I like to take this summer to really focus on those. So usually I give all of my kids a nonfiction book that is about some, some defect I've seen. No, about something. Something to aspire to. Something the Lord is leading them to grow. Yes, yes. A way that I want to see them grow sincerely.

Um, so for instance, my older girls, my son left, he was my, uh, he was my leader in academics, right? He loved it. He relished these kinds of conversations. Um, and so I am going to go through total truth with my two older girls this summer just because their worldviews are very solid and academically they're very solid, but I tend to see like a gap between the two, if that makes sense.

My oldest, my oldest daughter could probably teach a theology class. Um, but when it comes to just friendships and relationships, she struggles with like bringing all of herself to, to the party, if that makes sense. Yes. And so I, I just want to go through total truth with her to help her see this is not just you.

This is the way that this society has been crafted to get you to have trouble with this. And so that's just, just little stuff like that. My son is going to be doing a study about manhood. It's just little things like that. We try to focus in on ways that we need to grow so that we can see those fruits during the school year.

That's really, that's so full. Yeah. I love that. And, you know, I'm laughing to myself because of course the two of you are so far ahead of me in the parenting journey. So I'm like, oh yeah, I'm you. So rewind it, you know, 10 years, 20 years ago. Cause I'm like, oh, it's the summertime.

This is our opportunity to just capitalize on this, that, the third. And I think, I think there's a space for that. There's a season for that. And in a second, I want to hone in on what you just said when it comes to age ranges, because what I'm feeling, and I'd love for you to speak to this as well, is that since my son is so young, you know, the pace of our school is a lot slower.

So, and that's good. That's fine. But that means that there are a lot of things that I would have expected us to finish or to just understand like goals or milestones that I wanted him to, to, to cross, honestly, that we didn't cross yet. And we've been doing the repetition, but I, I'm thinking to myself, if I stop this repetition right now, we're going to be back at one, you know, in the fall.

And I just don't, I don't think he has time for that. I think he'll be frustrated with himself if he forgets, you know, some of these really basic things that we're talking about. So there's that. And then on the other side, I think to myself, well, you know, the weather's just now getting good.

So I wanted delusions of grandeur about me being out in my winter coat, doing this beautiful science exploration. Well, can I just tell you, I didn't do that. Right. Because we spend our time outside. I stood by the trampoline. I said, okay. And so now that it's nice and he's curious and he wants to see the bugs and the bugs are out.

Yeah. I feel like maybe we should spend some more time on, you know, science and exploration, just some of that stuff that we, we kind of neglected during the cooler months. What do you think about that? And do you think that that might be something that's more appropriate for younger ages?

Because of course they didn't get it all in the quote school year. I think that, well, when your kids are little, I have found that faithfulness is the most important thing with schoolwork. You don't have to be the, I don't, I don't have a toddler, but I'm here. Miss Rachel is all the rage.

You don't have to be Miss Rachel. I would have said Barney, but that's too old. Um, you don't have to be, um, your very best, most preschool teacher self every day, but if you can just do it every day, it will pay off in the long run. So I would not stop.

If, if my kid can't read yet, we're still going to do our letters and our, our, our, our right every day. We're just going to do that until you can read. And even when we're outside, you might collect the books, but now we have to count the books. You know what I mean?

So we have to do it until you play, right? It can feel like play, but I'm going to know we're getting something out of this. Yeah. I can remember when one of my, my son, when he was little, him jumping into the pool to my husband, spelling his name.

And my husband's like, you can only spell your first name. You can only jump when you say, Oh man. And so he's like, you know, you know, jumping into the pool. And so I remember that. I remember being like, he's never going to learn if we keep taking vacations, David.

Oh, that's great. That's great. I love it. All kinds of stuff. Yeah. There's all, all that Pinterest stuff is for the summertime. I think writing and shaving cream and all that stuff. That's right. That's what you do in the summer. Yeah. There are, there are definitely things that you do to keep the stuff fresh.

And I think you're right, Delise, that it matters more for the little ones who haven't maybe as firmly knocked in that peg. Like you were saying, Camila, if they don't know how to read yet, you don't want to stop those lessons. And you can always count things and, and categorize things and name colors and name shapes and everywhere you go.

Um, but for the older kids, I think there is a lot of benefit to taking a break and letting them have a little bit of scope. I mean, like we always read, but our family's just readers. And so my girls, they had more of a chance in the summer to read whatever they wanted to, instead of following the challenge books.

Cause I had one daughter that was a voracious reader. And so she could probably read something along with challenge books, but one daughter who that was enough. That was all the reading that the Lord had laid on her to do in a year. And so that's what she did.

Um, and so it was more of a, what are you reading and would I like it too? And could we talk about it? And then I spent, I tended to spend some of my summer thinking about the year that was ahead, you know, how was what I was going to be doing with them, maybe different in the next year than it had been in the previous year.

Um, do you, do you do any of that planning on your own Camila for the next school year? And, um, is there anything that you routinely did in the summer that you've always been glad that you did in the summer? Yes. So I always, I've directed, um, pretty much the whole time that we've done CC.

So I do have a lot of planning to do. I'm getting very familiar with next year's curriculum, um, which is again, why they need to entertain themselves. Go and be free, go and be free. Um, I always there, anytime a challenge student has a workbook, I do the workbook in the summer because I won't have time when the school year starts.

If you have a question with all of them. Yes. I don't know. I don't know what this is even about if I haven't looked through it. So I do the workbook in the summer and I don't buy double copies. So I tend to just do it in a composition notebook, which is better for me.

Cause then I have that for, for subsequent children. Um, yeah. And it's also incognito in case somebody is tempted to cheat. It doesn't look like, Oh, there's mom's copy of the fallacy detective just sitting right there. What might happen if I, yes. So, um, that has been good, especially for the challenge B logic.

I, um, that was, I did all of the, I watched all those videos and did all the student exercises myself that summer. And I mean, that has paid so many dividends. I wish that I had found that to do with everything my kids ever had to learn, but, um, right.

Right. I do all of that. And this summer I am going into challenge a next year. So I will be doing a lot of math, the math math for me. It's very exciting. That's really good. That's really good. So you are, even if your kids don't have formal learning assignments, you have formal learning assignments for yourself that prepare you to be the lead learner.

That's kind of cool. Do you enjoy that? I do. I do. Um, it's, it, that's when I feel like, I don't necessarily feel like I'm redeeming my own education throughout the school year. I am really just, um, I'm like bailing water during the school year. Um, yes. Um, but during the summertime, that's when I find all my Pentecost moments.

That's when I feel like, uh, this is so good. That's what it's like a refresher for my heart too. Right. I'm ready to go after the summer of me just being invested in their books and knowing how solid of the education they're going to be receiving. That's what really gets me fired up.

So then by August I'm like, we can do this. So it's so good because that way you can really cast the vision because you know where it's going. Cause you've actually done the end of the year's work before they begin. And so you've got an idea of how to cast a vision that's going to come to fruition for them.

That's really smart. Yeah, it is. And doesn't she see, that's why I wanted her. And I, I love that you're saying that to you because I think sometimes, especially younger moms, um, or just new, new homeschooling moms, they don't realize that it's going to take that level of investment from them in order to teach their children.

You know, and you think about just a traditional school teacher, how much time they spend on lesson planning and how much time when you buy the curriculum, it's not ready to go. It's here's, here's the path. And then you need to get ready to go. And you've got to, you've got to really protect your time.

That's something I'm hearing in what you're saying. The fact that you've protected your time and you figured out how to shift your hours so that you could invest the time in your child's education preemptively so that when it's time for them to do it, and, and I've said this before, but it's always stuck out to me.

And I guess I'm saying it to remind myself as I'm just getting going on the journey. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and my mother studying my textbook. That was a normal thing. Right. And, you know, and I was one of four and that, and that's what it takes, you know?

And so when we hear all these conflicting ideas about homeschooling or people saying, Oh, you know, I'm not sure if it was enough or I'm not, it can be enough, but you will need to apply yourself so that it is enough. I mean, and that's how it is. It's like the curriculum.

It's like the curriculum is the powdered concentrate and you have to add the water to it. Well, guess what? You're the water. Yes. Okay. And, and if you don't add enough of you, then the curriculum stays chunky and it's chunky and it's not easy to digest and it's not really very palatable and it's not something you're going to want and your child's going to find it difficult and you're going to find it unappealing.

But if you'll be the water, if you will mix in with that, it is way better for you and for your child. And your relationship will be the better for it because you will be lead learning from your overflow and not from your barely enough. Hey, everyday educator listeners.

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Let's get back to the conversation. Exactly. And that's your gift. Like that's the invitation. That's the gift that you get. Just like what you were saying, Camila, that's what you get out of now that you're doing it for yourself, but that's what you'll get out of homeschooling. And we know that this is true in every other area of our lives.

So I'm saying, everybody, let's bring this, let's bring this to the books because this is how it works. And you know, and it's not just about the books. We're, we're lead learning and we're learning in every area of our lives. And so I'm curious for you ladies, what your summers look like as far as household management, because I know I'm making a little bit of an assumption here.

So you can correct me. Typically the woman is the one managing the household. If she's the one who's also homeschooling the children or the primary educator. So does that shift for you in the summertime? Is it the same? What are the rhythms that you put in place to keep everything from, you know, just going to pot?

Because of course, exactly. You have, you have your normal rhythms that kind of are stakes in the ground for your kids to know. Okay. And after we do math, we empty the dishwasher. So if you remove those, what does the house routine look like? So in my house, I just want to say something real quick about the previous metaphor.

I just kept thinking this the whole time you're talking about adding the water and you being the water, the water gets boiled. So that's right. It has to be hot. That's true. That's so good. I definitely am the household manager in our, as far as the day-to-day chores and everything.

So years ago, David, my husband was very strict about the fact that he wanted our kids to do chores. So all of my kids do chores. I do very little actual, um, cleaning on a day-to-day basis during the school year. So the summertime for me is about deep cleaning and like, he's going to put up a ladder so I can clean the big three-story window in the, you know, in the foyer.

And we're going to, I'm going to clean out the garage and sweep the floor in the garage. Those kinds of like, we'll let that sit. Um, but we actually have more housework in the summertime because we have a pool. And so we have lots of people coming in with drippy feet to get a popsicle, which means you have to mop the floor more often.

And we have, you know, so, um, my kids don't necessarily, we have morning and evening rhythms. We don't base our household chores around school. We say in the morning, you need to sleep before at, you know, before lunch. Like we give those kinds of, you know, you're going to eat every day.

So if you eat three lunches, then you need to sleep after three lunches. Stop eating. Um, so that is, um, a big thing. And then also we have the added, like the guest room is a big thing in the summertime because it's also the craft room and also the spare room, which is what we call it.

So it has lots of stuff and then we have people coming over. So now we got to set that up. So we have lots of extra stuff that doesn't exist in the school year. Um, so it's actually easier for me to maintain the house during the school year when everything is a no.

Um, there's so many yeses during the summertime. Yes. So can she spend the night? Well, it's like, ah, yes, but now we have to, you know, so that is in the, in the summer, we just have a ton more to do. So my kids are working harder and more, more around the house as well.

Well, and it's probably good for them because you've got the time to teach them to do things that you didn't have time. I know in the school year for me, it was always there there's the minimum viable standard, right? There's the minimum viable product. And so there are things that have to be done every day.

There are things that have to be done every week, but sometimes, especially as, as their schoolwork got a little more demanding, it was easier for me to do something while they were, they were working than for me to wait for them to have time to do it or for me to take the time to show them.

But summer became the time where I could teach them to do some of the bigger chores that they didn't know how to do, right? Or that I didn't, let's be really real, that I did not want to wait for them to perfect. I just need it to be done.

So I need you to move out of the way and I'm just going to do it. But in the summertime, I was more able to say, we're going to do these things together. And then there were other, there were outside chores, you know, that didn't exist. So there's, there's, there's sticker balls to be picked up before daddy mows so that he's not pressed them into the lawn, which really annoyed him.

And so there's sticks to be, and our yard was huge. And so there was always something that could be trimmed or cut back or planted in the yard. So there was a lot more outside stuff to do. And that's when we saved our big projects. Like if we're going to paint the hall or paint the two-story stairway, or somebody wants to change their room around, we're going to wait till the summer, you know, they've changed their theme.

And so we have all this decorating stuff to do. We saved that for the summer and we had more time and we enjoyed it more because we weren't so under the gun. And there was a little bit more time to, to savor even house projects than there were. But then we made time to savor other things in the summer.

We savored trips. Our family almost always took a trip to the beach and, um, we had vacations, sometimes where we went to visit family or where we went to visit, um, national monuments, or we, we went to visit, we went, took a couple of trips to Disney world. Um, do you guys have vacations planned for this summer, Camila?

So we, we do go to the beach quite often. It's actually funny. Um, we're about two hours from the beach and in the summer, I say a lot of yeses. My kids really enjoy that. That's their favorite. And so my oldest, actually my middle child came to me and said, how can we make more beach trips a yes this summer?

Cause we can go once or twice. See, that's perfect. You're teaching her preparation tips. So how can we arrange to make this a more, um, palatable thing for mom? Yeah. And I explained to her, I said, you know, that's a great question. The reason the beach is a no a lot is because you guys want me to facilitate.

So you say, can we go to the beach? I say yes. And then I pack the cooler, make the lunches, find the, uh, uh, sunscreen, get the chairs, get the, and that makes it a no sometimes. Because sometimes I don't want to do that or I don't have time to do that.

Yes. I said, so if you will pack the lunch and then you get your siblings to help you pack the cooler and then y'all get the chairs in the van, I will happily drive to the beach more often. Oh, that's so good. And they were like, we need to have a meeting right now.

That's good. I mean, to train your children that there is preparation involved, even in a trip to the pool, my girls used to hound me. Will you take us? And that usually meant the two of them and as many friends as we could stuff in the van. Will you take us to the pool?

And so I would say, how ready are you to go? I mean, like, is your bathing suit on? Do you know where the sunscreen is? Do you have your sandals? Do you have the change? Are your friends ready to be picked up? Like, I mean, if you're asking me this and it's going to take us two hours to go and I only have three hours this afternoon, then that's going to be a no because that's not worth it.

Right. Right. Well, and I think too, again, I'm listening from like a totally different season of life, but that's why I love these conversations because I realized I had to do that for myself because it was becoming a no for me, but I love the summertime and I want to be there at the water and I have little ones, right?

So he can't do it for me. I have a dream that one day will be the one doing it for me. But until then I said, okay, well, what is my stuck? So I just made my car beach ready. I said, you know what? I could use this third row or I could put the chairs down.

I could put, you know, the seats down and leave my chairs in the car, have a beach ready bag that has everything and just have a mental cue that if I ever take something out of this bag, like I use it up, I have to put it back. I have to put something again.

So like this whole past month, I've been, you know, buying sunglasses when I wash the towels, throwing the towels in the beach bag, doing all this different stuff so that we're beach ready. Even the snacks, you know, I buy snacks, I buy two. I drop a bag of chips in the beach bag.

That's so smart. And for a picnic or just for an impromptu, we're out. And now all of a sudden, especially being pregnant, I need a chair, you know, I can't sit on the grass, but I would like a chair. And you need snacks, maybe an individual, like my kids knew not to ask me at the grocery store to buy individual packs of snacks.

I'm like, no, that we'll have a math lesson. Let us have a math lesson about unit prices. And we're not doing that. But when spring came, I started stockpiling those things, not for public consumption at home, but to put in the picnic bag or the go to the pool bag.

And so it was always ready. I always had something. Yeah, exactly. So that's important too. Yeah, that's really, really good. Well, you know, Camilla, in between, you're going through all the workbooks for all your kids and going to the beach as often as your children want you to go.

Do you have any big house projects? What are you doing with your summer girl? Are you cleaning the house? Or do you have any painting to do? How have y'all dealt with big house projects? Because you said you have a pool. I know that's a significant upkeep. Yes. So we have, we built this house five years ago.

And so we don't have a lot of projects. That was the song that was, I need to be new so that I can have a break because I was doing projects so often. And we bought our first house. We thought we were going to be Chip and Joe, right?

We were like, oh, it's so cute. Oh, it's going to be so much fun. Yeah. And then like 10 minutes into the first project, my husband looks at me and goes, I hate this. I hate this. I never want to do this. And I was like, what? We got a lot left.

The list is long for him. Yes. So he realized he is not Chip. He was like, I do not enjoy this at all. So we built this house with the thought that we're not Chip and Joe. So we are not going to be doing any big renovations, at least until we get them out of the house.

But I definitely have to upgrade some bedrooms this summer because the vibes are off. That's what I've been doing. The vibes are just too young. This is not me anymore, mom. No. This is five years ago. Seriously. This is so five years ago. So that's fun. So I will be doing, I did buy neutral furniture.

So we just have to change the vibe. So that should be easy. That is so funny. So how will you keep everything else running smoothly when you have the bedrooms all torn apart, changing the vibe? Yes. So I actually have learned this lesson through many hardships because I had the bright idea for two Christmases.

I didn't even learn the first time, two Christmases. I was foolish enough to think, you know, it'll be a great Christmas present. I can redo the kids' rooms. Right. That's amazing. It's not amazing. Don't do it. It's a bad idea. This is all of their rooms. What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with this picture? Let's see. And then it's December 21st and I'm like, don't talk to me. I'm so frustrated. I'm sorry. And I'm like a maniac. And it's just, that's not, that's not what the Lord wants for me. So joyous. No, this is not what I think of when I think of the Christmas season.

So this, what I've learned is you have to, I have to let my kids know this is for lunch and this is for dinner. You may have these things for snack. That's very important so that I am not like finally in my groove. And then somebody's like, let's for dinner.

And then I like rage nail gun them to the wall or something like that. Stop asking me that. I don't know why that question bothers me the way that it does, but it is just, it sounds like I don't love you. That's what it sounds like to me. I don't trust you.

You haven't planned. Yeah. Hey, how are you failing us today, mom? So I don't know. So that is for me having a conversation with my husband and now my two oldest, my, I have two big girls that are here. So it's so easy. I can just say, Hey, I'm about to go start this project.

This is for dinner. This is for lunch. And then I set the parameters. You can watch this much TV, have this much screen time, two people to a TV, you know, I set all my standards and then I, then I can focus on the project. Cause I am at a really, really, really sweet spot.

I did have a time when, you know, somebody had to sit next to me and count the nails. That was part of it. I remember those days. Oh yeah. Not my favorite. And I'll be like, you have to wear your shoes because of the nails. And then 10 minutes later, somebody was like, I need a bandaid because there's a nail.

Yes. Yes. Yes. But I'm at a time now where people just leave me alone and let me finish the project. Um, and I'm also at a time where I can like get 90% of the way finished and then say, you come vacuum, you come dust the baseboards, you come put the sheets on the bed.

This is your spot. This is your thing to do. I love that. I think that, um, you know, I finally discovered that what caused conflict in my home is, well, it's actually the same thing that causes conflict in all of our relationships. It's unmet expectations. Oh yeah. And so if I set the expectations of this is what's coming for supper and this is what time it's going to come.

Um, and these are the substitutions that are allowed, then every, nobody's mad when that very plan comes to fruition. We all knew that's what the plan was and nobody was confused and nobody was surprised. And so that helped having a plan. I mean, I am a planner person, but, but sharing the plan with everybody that the plan was going to affect actually kept the peace in our home.

Yeah. A lot better. Also for me sharing with David, uh, beforehand that I'm going to need help is that's like, that was like, why didn't I think of this before? Why are you not happy to help me the second you walk in the house from work? This is weird.

I'm going to need you to move this stuff tomorrow night. And he's like, I got you. You know, that has been so helpful for him. Instead of just expecting that he will notice that you are doing this project and he will know that you're going to need help with this aspect.

And surely he can tell I'm almost there. No, just hear me when I said, I'm thinking about redoing the kids' bedrooms. Didn't you hear me? Didn't you know that that meant all of these? Could you not read my mind after these many years that we've been married? So weird.

That's another, that's another one of those unmet expectations. So like I expected you to read my mind. Let me tell you, we've been married almost 39 years. It does not happen. It is not going to happen. Stop, holding your breath. Mind reading is not it. And so that's the unmet.

I need to set the expectation and I need to hear your pushback in the planning stage, not in the, I am now holding the 500 pounds waiting for you to perform. Right. Exactly. And, and I love that you said in the planning stage, because I think that's something my husband and I, Evan, we, we have very different personalities.

And so to me, time, I could give you my time forever and just feel like I didn't give you anything. I don't have a problem with that. Right. Time is his most valued commodity. So he's like, listen, how I structure my time is very important, et cetera, et cetera.

And so something that I'm still having to learn is even to structure my ask around his time. So rather than say, you know, and everybody's husband's different, but rather than say, okay, can you do this for me tomorrow? It's like, when will you have the time to X? And then I'm going to plan backwards from that because he'll do what he says he's going to do.

Right. But far be it for me to assume that on a random Thursday night, he's going to be coming up and down ladders. And that he'll be happy about it. Yes. Because see, he might do it, but he's not going to be happy about it. I know. Exactly. Yeah.

And then there are my unmet expectations, you know, because I'm thinking, oh, it'd be no big deal. This is going to be in 10 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. No problem. Yeah. Exactly. So it's, it's definitely, there's a learning curve there. Yes. It is. And just a little bit of forethought.

A lot of times we'll head off a world of hurt feelings or, you know, I'm a little annoyed with you. So. Yes. Sure. I remember the day I was having David help me with something randomly and he, I could see his jaw clench. He clenches his jaw and he's frustrated.

His jaw clenched and he went, I didn't even think this was a good idea. And I remember being shocked because I thought we were very excited. Right. Right. Right. The royal way. We are excited about this. Didn't you look at Pinterest all those hours that I did? What? You didn't think this was going to be amazing?

Oh, that's so weird. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. The communication. Well, I could chat with you guys for, for obviously quite a long time, but we do have to land the plane soon. So why don't we land it on this last question? Cause we made a promise at the beginning of the show to our listeners, not just us in the ring, you know, that we were also going to touch on, you know, what the spiritual aspect, although that's in all of the aspects of our lives.

But what, what cultivating that aspect of our lives is going to look like. And I think when I heard you say expectations, Lisa, one of the things I realized was that I think sometimes we have an unmet expectation for ourselves, perhaps an unrealistic expectation for ourselves that if we change our routines, my walk with God will stay the same.

And I'll just have all those cues to like sit and have my quiet time. And even if my kids aren't doing school at the same time that they normally are, are waking up at the same time that they normally are, of course, we'll be able to carve out that time.

And even if we go on 15 trips during the summer, of course, we're going to be connected to our family, our church family. Of course, we're not going to feel like there's any shift and that's not realistic. And so I think this is a really important area for us to touch on at the end of the conversation because you need to plan to, to continue to cultivate your walk with the Lord.

And that can look different and be a good thing. But what does that look like for you guys in the summer as you, as you steward your time, as you lead your families? I know you said, Camila, that you have some books that you have your kids read. What do you do for yourself and what do you do for your families to make sure that you stay on the path during the summertime?

So we do still, obviously we still go to church. We don't tend to take trips in the summer. We go to the beach, but those are usually day trips. Our trips are usually during the year. So that's easier for me in that we don't have to leave during the summer sometimes.

But usually I like to go deeper in the summertime. So for me, I will, same way I do with my kids, I'm like, what did they really struggle with? And how can we fix that? Or how can we attack that? Not necessarily fix it, but offer it to the Lord and let him fix it over the summer.

I do the same thing with myself. I like to go deeper. There's all kinds of like scripture journals and things. I have several of them from over summers past that I, I didn't realize that that's what I was doing until I realized it when looking at my collection one year.

I was like, I do this every summer. Look at me. So I tend to go deeper during the summer. I have one right now that's a humility and it's a prayer journal and it gives you a prompt and a scripture passage to read. And then like, you know, some, some questions about humility.

And I like it because I can date it and I can see my growth over this summer. And then all throughout the school year, that's like my little Ebenezer. Remember when the Lord taught me this? Remember when the Lord taught me that? So that's one thing that I enjoy for myself is just trying to go deeper.

So that can be podcasts. That can be, I listened to so many audio sermons. I just walk around and I know the people at Walmart be so freaked out. It's sometimes my ear pod fell out. They're like, what? Yeah. Sorry. Hopefully that doesn't scare you. Hopefully I give you hope.

But yeah, I listen to a ton of sermons. So yeah, that's, I like to go, try to go deeper in the summertime. I, a lot of times will pick up. I, I'll have friends who will tell me about devotionals that they're going through or studies, book studies that they're going through during the year.

And so I save all those in my Amazon cart and then I just start buying them in the, as the spring comes. I try to do some of those in the summertime that maybe I don't feel like I have the time to do or, or to do justice to them during the year.

And so that is something that I have done for myself. And when my kids were home, we continued to do our devotions together in the morning. Even though we weren't having formal school lessons in the morning, it was just a habit that had become very comforting to us and a good way for us to start the day together, kind of set us off on a good tone.

Um, and I know when, um, our major vacation, when the girls were little was a beach trip, we would go to the beach. Um, my husband's uncle had a house at the beach that he let us use for free in the off season. And in those early years for free was the big selling point of that.

And so like my girls, I think they thought that the beach was a synonym for vacation because that's the only thing we ever did. And they had never stayed at a hotel because we always stayed at uncle Bob's beach house. Um, but when they were little, we felt like it was important that they knew we weren't taking a vacation from God.

So we found a beach church. And so every year for probably 10 or 12 years, once a year, we went to our beach church and it was not the same kind of church. It was, um, a much more liturgical church that we found that was close to the beach house that had a very warm fellowship, but a much different style of worship than we had at, they were exposed to at home.

And so that was actually very beautiful too, because it highlighted different practices of worship and it highlighted, um, uh, there was a catechism that they recited there. And so, um, it gave us fresh things to talk about together spiritually. That was kind of cool. I love that. That is really cool.

We always try to be home for church, but that's a really good idea to, to visit a new church. So like at the place where you're vacationing, I love that. Yeah. And then even as the girls got older, I know one time Stephanie was in college and we, um, took her to Charleston just by herself because she loves Charleston so much.

Um, she and my husband got up early one morning to go to a local Catholic church because they just, it had become the thing to do to find a different kind of church when we would be on vacation. So that was kind of cool. And that's something that I think she continues to do.

She and her husband now that she's married. So. Oh, I love that. Yeah. You're passing along the legacy. Yeah, there you go. A legacy. I love it. I love it. Well, Camila and Lisa, thank you so much for just taking the time to give us a peek, you know, into both your past and your potential future summers.

Um, it's definitely been encouraging for me. You have me thinking a lot about the way I want to approach things and things I want to notice. Even I loved what you said at the beginning of this conversation, Camila, about paying attention to the way that your children are responding and then planning a time to shepherd their hearts more strategically.

Um, I think that's probably going to be one of my biggest takeaways from this conversation. And if you all enjoyed this episode, we do hope that you will share it with a friend. Um, you can find us over on social media and we would love for you to go and send us a message over there.

Tell us, you know, what aspect of this episode encouraged you and, um, continue the conversation with each other online at Everyday Educator Podcast, um, on social media. And in case you didn't know, we just want to remind you that we're also on YouTube now. So you can watch the videos if that's more engaging to you over on the Classical Conversations YouTube channel.

Thank you guys for listening and we will see you again next week. Thank you.