Kayla writes in to ask this, "Pastor John, my soul is in great distress. After living in disobedience and under conviction for a few months, my deep desire I once had for fellowship with God is now gone. I used to be so in love with Christ, and Hebrews 4 makes clear that sin hardens the heart, and I found it to be true.

My question is this, does this mean I have fallen away from the faith? My biggest fear is being destined for destruction, as scripture says of Judas and others. Please help." Pastor John, what would you say to Kayla? I'm really thankful that Kayla is in distress. I'm thankful that she's fearful, because how much worse would it be if Kayla were careless right now?

If she were cavalier, if she were just blowing off this coldness and saying, "Devil, my care, I don't give a rip how I feel, doesn't matter anymore, I tried that Christianity stuff, I'm done with it." That would be infinitely worse than fear and distress. The text that gives her fear, but also gives hope, is Hebrews 12 about Esau?

"See to it," this is chapter 12, verse 15 from Hebrews, "See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God, that no one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau," and maybe that's what she's done, is fallen into a season of sexual sin. I mean, those are the kinds of things that make us feel hopeless about our possible salvation.

"Don't be like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal," just threw away his spiritual privileges for an immediate gratification. "For you know that afterwards, when he desired to inherit a blessing, he was rejected. For he found no place," that's the literal translation, "no place to repent, no occasion to repent, no repentance, though he sought it with tears." It's possible to backslide so long and so deeply that there's no return.

Now, is that what's happened with you? It doesn't sound like it, because Esau was rejected not because he repented and wouldn't be accepted, but because he couldn't repent. That's what it says. He found no repentance. He found no place to repent, though he sought it with tears. He had become so callous, so hard, so distant, that there was no ability for him to see how horrible his sin is, to see how great the mercy is, to feel horrible and broken about his sin and turn away from it to the living God.

He couldn't do it. It was all a sham as far as he was concerned. And the question then, Kayla, is do you see the horror of sin? That's a gift of God. That's an element of repentance. Do you see the gospel held out freely? So here's what Jesus said about the unforgivable sin, because my guess is that's lurking right there in the background of your concern, is have I committed the unforgivable sin?

Here's what Jesus says in Matthew 12, 31. And listen to these initial words, because they are meant to give you hope. "Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven, people." That's amazing! Every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven. And then he says, "But the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven." Now, what is that?

They were calling him the devil. They were saying that he casts out demons by the power of Beelzebul, and therefore they had turned the world on its head. They were seeing Jesus as demonic, and they were no longer able to see Jesus as who he really was. Have you gotten to the demonic point that Jesus is the devil, and you now can pronounce judgment on him?

Or can you repent? And if you can repent, there's hope. And here's one of the most beautiful statements of hope that I know of. It's from 1 Timothy 115, where Paul is talking to you, Gaila. "The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.

But I received mercy for this reason, that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life." So here's what he's saying. I was a blasphemer, a murderer. He says this in Acts 9.

A murderer, a persecutor, a hater. And let this sink in. Paul was a Pharisee. He believed in demons. There is no reason to believe that Paul disagreed with the Pharisees in the Gospels who said Jesus was casting out demons by the power of demons. Paul was a blasphemer. He had walked right up to the edge, evidently, of blaspheming the Holy Spirit.

And God chose him, saved him. Why? Paul says it's so that in the 21st century, John Piper, on a podcast, could say to Gaila, "Christ is that patient with you." That's why he saved Paul. He saved Paul for Gaila. I really believe Gaila should read 1 Timothy 1 15 to 16 that way.

Paul wants to be read as giving encouragement to those who feel like the patience of God has run out. So in the name of Jesus and with the authority of Paul, Gaila, I think I can say to you, I do say to you, turn and come to Jesus and you will find his arms outstretched to a prodigal daughter.

Thank you, Pastor John, and thank you for listening to this podcast. Email your questions to us at askpastorjohn@desiringgod.org. You can visit us online at desiringgod.org to find thousands of books, articles, sermons, and other resources from John Piper, all for free. I'm your host Tony Ranke. Thanks for listening.