(soft music) - Welcome friends to this episode of the Everyday Educator podcast. I'm your host, Lisa Bailey, and I'm excited to spend some time with you today as we encourage one another, learn together, and ponder the delights and challenges that make homeschooling the adventure of a lifetime. Whether you're just considering this homeschooling possibility or deep into the daily delight of family learning, I believe you'll enjoy thinking along with us.

But don't forget, although this online community is awesome, you'll find even closer support in a local CC community. So go to classicalconversations.com and find a community near you today. Well friends, I'm so excited to be spending the Christmas season with you. Or as one of my friends said, this is really the Advent season because we are looking at the coming of the Christ child and Christmas doesn't begin in earnest until the 25th.

And then we have 12 days of Christmas that go from the 25th to January the 12th. And so that's just January the 6th. So that's just an awesome way to look at it. But I've got a suggestion for your family, for all our families really, this Christmas. What if we intentionally spent time together doing the simplest things?

What if we practiced some simple habits designed to draw us to one another, designed to start meaningful conversations, designed to provoke us to deeper thinking, and to encourage us to true worship? What if y'all, in this season of busy, busy, busy, we celebrated Christmas by praying together, playing together, reading together, exploring together, and serving together?

So this Advent season, the everyday educator wants to practice these habits along with you. And we're gonna talk to others who want to try this plan too. So you guys listen in every Tuesday to ponder the next habit. And today we're gonna be thinking about exploring together. And I have one of my favorite friends to talk about this with, Amy Jones.

Amy, Merry Christmas. - Oh, Merry Christmas, Lisa. And what a lovely way to start the season, to just practice those simple habits like you were saying, and really be, it's like you can be keeping things really simple but intentional. And I think that is, those two things marry really well together because you are thinking you're not just flying by the seat of your pants, which I just thought, but you're actually thinking, looking for opportunities to intentionally incorporate those lovely habits.

And it does help you simplify, it helps you slow down. So that's great. - And I think simplifying and slowing down and being intentional really are the best ways to make good memories with our families. And that's what we're all after, not just doing another thing. You know what, Amy?

I think that those of us, and I'm including myself, who fall into the busy, busy trap of this season are doing it to make memories. So we say yes to the get together, or yes to the Christmas caroling, or yes to the neighborhood potluck, all in search of memories that will delight and last.

But what I have discovered is the more frenzied I become, the less I make a memory I want to hold onto, the more I'm just tired and maybe going through the motion. So I love what you said about simplifying and being intentional, and I submit to you guys that those are two things that make the very best memories.

So Amy and I are gonna talk today about the habit of exploring together and what might that look like at Christmas. But I wanna ask you first, Amy, did you consider yourself a curious child? Like, were you curious about things? - Oh, yes, I think I was naturally pretty curious.

I don't know if I would have, I think some people would have said quirky. (laughing) I'm staying curious. - Yeah, there you go. - I did just ask a lot of questions, and I think I lived on a farm, and so I was given a lot of time to wander around and just poke and prod at different parts of the world, and we had animals on our farms.

So there was always something around that was pretty wonderful to kind of explore. So I think I naturally did that. Now, people express their curiosity in so many different ways. Some people are curious about words, or some people are curious about nature, and we usually associate it with nature.

But some people are curious about how you make a better meal or how you create a story. So I think children, to help recognize that children have natural curiosities that are individualized to them, and just to kind of recognize it instead of thinking, oh, they just like to play ball.

Well, there's a curiosity there that they're exploring naturally. So I think sometimes we relegate exploring to like nature or that sort of thing, whereas really, God has given us natural curiosities about so many different things. And I think recognizing those in your children instead of calling them quirky, maybe.

- Yes, yes. - Just be curious about things like rocks and bugs. - Yeah, yeah, that was such a good insight, Amy. That was a really good insight. I was, I grew up as a city child. So I lived in the city when I was little. And so my curiosity did tend to be about words.

I loved to read from an early age. But I was also curious about how things worked. And I can remember, 'cause I did play outside a lot. I still was from that generation where mom said, okay, time to go outside. And you just went out and you played. And so I remember, even as a little, little person trying to explain the world to myself, I was curious about how things worked.

And I can remember being outside in the summertime and knowing that a storm was about to come up. You know, the sky would get really purpley dark and you would hear the rumbles maybe of thunder in the distance, and the wind would pick up. And always, and I noticed, this is before I was in kindergarten, I noticed that the leaves always turned, the backs of the leaves.

And I didn't know, that was really weird to me. And they looked a different color, but I could tell it was just 'cause I was seeing the back. And I called them, for some reason, cheese trees. And so my little self, it's like, okay, so it's getting ready to be a storm because they're cheese trees.

And I think I said that to my mom one time. And she was like, now what, what is there, what, there, what? And I was sort of embarrassed, but it was because, and I, so I was real sensitive to my children when they came up with these phrases, because it was a way that I had explained the world to my little four-year-old mind.

And that's what, I was exploring the world. Did you have explorer kids, Amy, did you have kids who liked to explore? - Yes, and that was one of the benefits of homeschooling. I got to watch them explore. You know, I was part of that, you know, they're exploring and kind of offering opportunities for them to explore in their way.

My oldest was a constant outdoors person. He had a stick in his hand since he was one. He was always poking and prodding. And he was a wanderer. You know, he just, he looked very much, he's a very internal processor, that's what I would say now. But he would just, I would look at him and it would look like he was just spacing out, you know?

- He's just thinking about things. - And thinking and looking and turning over things. And then just, he was much more of that kind of person. And my daughter was more like you. She was a real words and relationship person. So she was always trying to make sense of interactions and how do we encourage people.

I mean, I had to recently cleaned out the number of notes that she wrote me almost every day. I had stacks and stacks of hearts and I love yous. And so she was always exploring in those terms, like how relationships work and how she could use her words. And she loved reading.

So there were those and then my other sons are sports boys, you know, active. So they were always like trying things with mechanical things or make them go faster or hit harder or destroy more. - Yes, yes, yes. How many ways can I break this? - Yes, yes, yes.

Can I turn, set something on fire? I was like, no, you can't. - Yes, you cannot. - I can remember coming home one time to discover that my husband had taught the girls and they were not old, okay? So they were like, you know, seven and five, had taught them how to burn a leaf using a magnifying glass in the sun.

And I was like, you know, I'm not really sure that that's a good skill to pass on to them at five and seven. But they loved it, you know? What can the sun do and what can this magnifying glass do and what could it turn into? I think that kids are natural explorers and I really, I love what you said, your admonition to us to look for ways in which our children are exploring because they don't all look the same.

It's not just the kids that want to turn over rocks that are explorers. It's all, I think all of our kids are natural explorers and sometimes parents, and I'm saying this because I think I fell into this trap, sometimes we numb the explorer out of our children by giving them too much information before they've asked for more information, when they are just out exploring, when they're just trying things out.

And I think it's out of a good heart. I know that I was so excited to see my girls explore things that I think I probably drowned them in extraneous facts and interesting tidbits when they were still just kind of, like you said, poking around to seeing if it was interesting to them.

So that's another, I guess, admonition for all of us. What is so great? What do you think is the greatest thing about exploring with your kids? And how did you encourage them to keep doing it? - Oh, that's such a good question. I think the best thing is what you just alluded to, is that you give them time and space to explore.

And if we think about when we're first curious about something, nice to have space to kind of go in all the rabbit trails and ask all kinds of questions that I may think you have these questions, but actually like you have a cheese tree. I would have never imagined a cheese tree, but I would be curious about you, that time and focus that you had.

You made a definition of something that was really creative based on a lot of observation and thought. So you came to a conclusion, but it was the time and space that you needed to do that. I think for parents, we're tempted to sort of shape it. We think we'll lead to, oh, this would be a good science lesson, or this would be, let me tell you even more, that sometimes we don't mean to, but I have done this, kind of steal away the creativity that God has put in their mind that we don't.

I think I forget that children are looking at things from such a different perspective. We're rhetoricians, we've seen a tree a thousand times, but our children, our little children, they may have experienced this only one or two times in their life, for Christmas. They may, if they're four, they've only had maybe one Christmas they remember.

So everything from their perspective really is new. And I think entering into that with them and allowing them really listening, what are they asking? What are they asking? And what are they observing? And just asking questions and being still with them. I think, like you were saying, frenzy, to me frenzy is usually that meant I was completely distracted.

I was not present in the moment. - Always on the way to the next thing. - Yes, I was like looking at the calendar and going, well, when can we get through the play so we can go to the after play? Instead of going, at this moment, I'm gonna be present with where I am, where they are, and give them kind of space and really listen and hone in.

I think that is the most beautiful picture we have of Christ. He was always asking, come join me. But he was alongside. He was with people and really present with people. So I didn't get the feeling that Jesus was thinking, oh, hurry up and finish your conversation. He was really at peace and allowed for a lot of connection with where people were.

And I think for me, I failed at that. As a parent, I was always pushing the next thing to check off the list. So I think as a grandparent, I see the wisdom of moments of just being with your child and recognizing where they are and giving them space and time.

- Yes, that is so true. I know that sometimes as parents, we are tempted to explore with our children, but we have a goal in mind. We have a thing, we have the answer. What your exploration is gonna show you is fill in the blank. And so we're not open-ended in the explorations.

And that robs our children, I think. - Yeah, it does. It robs us. Think of it, if you were invited to a nice meal and the host just kept asking you, well, did you notice this? Did you see this? Do you know what this is made of? Can you eat faster?

(laughs) I think you would feel very, yeah, very hemmed in. (laughs) And I think I've done that because I feel like we think of ourselves, we take the responsibility of educating our children very seriously. And I think we also wanna respond to that at times by just like we think throwing information at people is part of education.

I think that's my old education mindset instead of really what we wanna do is engage and relate, be in relationship with a person. That's, you're never teaching the thing, whatever your science, you're teaching the person. That's really the difference. And so focusing on the person, the little person that's sitting in front of you.

And like you said, giving them opportunity to say things that maybe sound silly to you as an adult, but kind of pressing in and understanding what they're getting at, which is pretty creative most of the time. - Yes, yes. Oh, that's so lovely. I could just talk to you forever about this.

But I wanna ask you, are y'all big Christmas people at your house? Do you decorate and bake and sing and give presents and keep secrets and worship and read and all the things? Do you, are y'all big Christmas celebrators? - I have to attribute that to my husband. He is just, he loves celebrating Christmas.

He loves the whole package because he just feels like it's one of the best holidays of Christ coming to earth. You know, what in the world, you know, that he was willing to come. And he's always said, he's a literature person. He always says that the story is just so lovely.

And who would have ever put those things together? Babies and mangers and angels and shepherds and wise men. And, you know, who would have created that beautiful story except for the Lord? I mean, and he just glories in it. So yes, we do Christmas trees and presents and food and gatherings.

And yes, it's a flurry. And our house has many, many of those annoying toys that make lots of noise. (laughing) - Yes, hang around from year to year. So what is one family tradition that is especially important to your family and how did it get started? - Oh yeah, that is such a good, another good question.

It made me think. I think one of the things that we really enjoyed was the idea of just, of doing a Jesse tree. We, it's, we do, it's just really simple and it traces the prophecies of Christ through, you know, starts the Old Testament and goes through and it's just little stories of just the history and how Christ, the prophecies of Christ and Christ shows up from the beginning.

And it's, and you just hang a little ornament on a tree every day, it's very plain, but it's just a mark of the end of the day. We used to do it with the children when the children were home as our devotional in the morning and each person every day got to hang an ornament on the tree, you know, we just took her.

So we did have arguments about who would hang baby Jesus at the end. - Yes, the favorite ornaments, yep. (laughing) - And so that was, I had to keep a record, I actually found it the other day. - Oh my gosh, Amy, that's so funny, yes. - But like, you know, like, and what I'm saying there is, it wasn't this perfect Norman Rockwell moment.

We had fights about where to hang baby Jesus. - Right, and you just think, really, we're gonna fight, I can remember telling the girls, really, we're gonna fight about baby Jesus. Do you hear how crazy this is? - Yes, but it was, but our children loved it. You know, they just loved the routine and sometimes they normally, they got a little bit of a candy or a hot chocolate, you know, something like that, so it made it an extra sweet time.

But yeah, those kind of things that we tried to just incorporate that. - That's really cool. Well, in an effort to lead us all to simplify Advent, Everyday Educator has been looking at how to take the simple verbs from the Scribblers at Home resource, pray, play, read, explore, and serve, and use those verbs to guide our Christmas celebrations.

So I wanna talk to you more specifically about how we can celebrate together this year by exploring. So we have already well established that kids love exploring. So it seems like it would be easy to entice them to look at Christmas and the message of Christmas through an explorer's eyes.

So what can you imagine exploring with the family that could help us see Christmas in fresh ways? - Ooh, that's, yeah, that's nice. I think, first of all, one thing that has always helped me is recognizing just what's immediately around me, not something I have to go purchase or order online.

What's there that I can sort of help people notice, really? And I was thinking, Christmas is so full of sight, new sights and new sounds and new smells. (laughs) And so I think if they're like Christmas lights, just looking, stringing up a string of lights in an unusual place and turning out the lights and looking at them, talking about that, or lighting a candle.

Kids love candles, light a candle and just talk about it. Or how would you describe it for your words person? What does it look like? What does it feel like? What do you think a candle does? Even eating by candlelight, turning off all the lights, seeing what that's like.

I think exploring, even with your senses, I was thinking in our backyard, just the evergreens. If you have evergreens in your yard, like holly or pivot hedge, (laughs) we have a lot of weeds in our back field. Or even the seed pods that are there. Or just going for an evergreen walk.

What do you see that is still green, that smells good like pine, squish it up and smell it? Get them to recognize what's around them and what does this season bring? And you can move that conversation of evergreen things to how God has given these ideas in nature about how his everpresence and how there's ever life through Christ.

There are just some simple ways like just recognizing what you have in your home that you can just gather and say let's just sit around and think about how does this relate to Christmas? What do you think? And also smells are big because you have spices and you don't have to be a cook.

You can just sprinkle things around under your water. Sprinkle some cinnamon and water, cut up an orange. One of the things that you can do is slice oranges and dry 'em in your oven and get it, it smells yummy. Or make a cup of cider if you have some apple juice.

It doesn't have to be fancy but just helping them recognize the sights and the sounds and the smells. Just exploring to me is so much about experiencing and remembering that all of this, I just love it. You get to introduce it to your kids. You get to be that doorkeeper, what do I need to experience?

And so if you have a little cook, buy some pre-made sugar cookie dough. I mean, I think sometimes we get the illusion we have to (mumbles) but just buy it and have 'em roll it out and get all sticky and gooey and taste it and make those really misshapen cookies.

(laughs) And just get them to think about things, just helping them recognize what's in front of them and pointing that out. I think it brings wonder to me as well. I think it makes it more delightful for me as we enter in. And also, if you're a musical family, we were not as much musical, but having just different music in the background and recognizing it or listening to parts of, I know one thing Whit and I used to do is listen to parts of the Messiah and thinking about the scripture that goes with it.

That's a wonderful devotional. I just listen to a little two-minute section and then discuss it, it's really lovely. So I think all those things, of course you can do all the Christmas tree, go out and look at Christmas lights and go to different events. Those are things that are exciting too.

But I think in your home, just realizing the things that you have. And also honestly, sometimes we put things up and our kids don't even know why. - Yes, oh my goodness. Explaining your Christmas decorations and tell the story. I know that, I remember when our older daughter got married, maybe they were just engaged, but her guy was coming to, he was gonna decorate the Christmas tree with us.

And I mean, he said to her, "Well, how long could that take?" And she looked at him a little funny. And then he came to the house and I mean, it takes us. Hours, multiple hours. It takes us a good two hours. And I mean, we have a 10 foot tree, but still it's not just putting the ornaments on the tree.

We rehearsed the story because our family had a tradition that everybody got a new ornament every year. And so you remember the year that you got this ornament. I got this ornament when we went to Disney for the first time. And so Sleeping Beauty's slipper is there for one of my daughters.

And the year that the other daughter was really into photography, she got a camera ornament. And so we rehearsed them. And there are ornaments on our tree now that were mine when I was a little girl. And so when I put them up, I explain why these two ornaments have to hang next to each other.

Because when I was little, the mouse and the fruit basket had to hang near each other because the mouse ate the fruit at night. And so I think Gabe was shocked. It's like, okay, wow, I can see why it takes your family so long to do this. But that is part of our shared heritage.

And that's how we keep the memories alive. And it was bittersweet when the girls got married because I boxed their ornaments up and they took them with them to their new family. And so I love that. Talking about the decorations, why do we always put the manger here? Why is that nativity special to us?

- And that's a good point. - Yeah, when did grandma make that kissing ball and what in the world is that? - Yes, exactly. It's really a time to, like you were saying, reflect on your heritage and your stories. We had a mouse on our tree, it was Mary Claire, she's taking it now.

But the boys always had an owl that had talons and they would always place it over the mouse. So it was a little bit different than yours. And so Mary Claire sends every year a photograph of her mouse being very safely taken care of by their-- - Yes, exactly.

Finally, her mouse does not live with her brothers and he can spend the holidays in relative peace. - And I think even, I would just really encourage moms to have a crush that is completely available to you. Nothing that, I mean, you can have the lovely crush on the mantle, but I think anything at eye level really should be able to be explored.

And so get an inexpensive crush that, or a plastic one, or that kids can just act out that story. Sometimes Whit would move, when we get to the Magi, he would take the, they'll move around the room so the kids would have to find them in the morning. - Oh, that's so fun.

- Yes, so it's that, it's simple, but it's a little bit intentional of thinking about it and doing it and not making it rushed for yourself. And don't overburden yourself with a thousand different new things. - Yes, it doesn't have to be scripted. You don't have to know all of the answers.

I can remember reading just the Christmas story to the girls out of very simple Bible storybooks. And they had a bajillion questions. How far was it that they had to go on the donkey? And so then, of course, we had to go get a map 'cause their daddy loves maps, so we had plenty of maps.

And so we plotted how far is it that Mary and Joseph went to get to Bethlehem, so they had a donkey. Well, what does a donkey eat? So all these questions, it's just ways for little people to explore the Christmas story. Now, when we think about the Christmas story, as a grownup, I never think about what did the donkey eat.

I mean, I just never think about that. But if your child does, then chase that rabbit. And how far is it to Bethlehem? Why were the sheep out in the pasture? Why were the shepherd and the sheep out there, and what would it have looked like? I had one daughter who asked, did they have tents?

Well, I mean, not like the tent you have in your backyard. Not like the one we take camping. So how did they get food, and why were they awake, and just all kinds of things. And you can measure things. You can find pictures of a manger, because they put maybe Jesus in a manger.

Like the manger that we have in our house is really small. Even a brand new baby would not fit in that thing. So what did it look like? If you tell the story slowly and allow your children to ask all of the questions that occur to them, you will find a bajillion things to explore.

- Yes, and it's because it's a real story. It really happened. And I think that those questions imply that. Like, how far did they have to walk? If this was a pretend story, I don't know that that would matter, but it's a real story. And I think that's the best Christmas pageant ever.

It gives you that kind of idea of people who have never heard the story, and take it by faith that it's true. Then they do ask those kind of questions. Like, why would the magi give them this gold frankincense and myrrh? How about a hand? - Right, right. And why would that be a good thing?

'Cause that seems like a bogus present for a baby today. - Yes, exactly. - And our kids will just ask these bald questions. And that's what I meant about, don't feel like you have to know everything. - I think a lot of times, young moms, I know I was more intimidated for my children to ask questions when I was a really young mom, because I thought if they had a question, I was supposed to have an answer.

There was always a one-to-one correspondence there. And then, and partly they started asking harder questions as they got older, and so I had fewer and fewer ready-made answers. But the real beauty of family exploration is that you look for the answers together. And that makes the conversation, and that is actually what makes the memory.

- Yes, yes, yes. And I think being excited with your child, like, hey, that was a good question. I don't know the answer to that. Let's see if we can figure it out. I think, like you were saying earlier, affirming their curiosity instead of going, oh, let's, I don't know.

I can see my eyes getting impatient instead of just pausing and listening and giving and recognizing, hey, that's a pretty good question. Let's see if we can figure out the answer to it. Or I just don't, mommy doesn't know right now. Maybe we can look later. You know, I think that's just your modeling for them.

- Yes, and so often, as adults, we are totally invested in answers. But children are totally invested in exploring but also in relationships. They just want to be with you. And like you said, Amy, so beautifully, they will, it resonates with them when you say, that was a really good question.

Or that is so interesting. Or I always wondered about that too. Or I never thought of that. And you have built a bridge with your child. There's so many things you can explore. So what did the nighttime sky look like at the time that Jesus was born? Was there a star?

And lots of us have planetariums, at least sort of close by. And we can go, and many planetariums have Star of Bethlehem programs or the Night Sky of Bethlehem kind of programs. But you can look up things. Now there is the internet, which there was not when my kids were really, really little.

But you can find answers to all kinds of questions. But the fun might be in bundling up and taking your blanket outside at night and doing something that your children would think you would never do. I can remember doing bizarre things with my kids and them looking at me and saying, you're gonna let us do that?

- Yes. - And it was so exciting that they were doing this clandestine thing. But that we were doing it together is the kind of memory that sticks with our children forever. Well, this has been so awesome. I wanna ask you, 'cause we've talked about a lot of ways of exploring and why it's so good to explore with our children.

How, Amy, can exploring the Christmas story together bring our hearts together at Christmas time as a family? - Well, we have a common savior. And on some level, we're all, before God, we are all the same in that sense. So sharing the Christmas story, we all share in that joy.

This is not a fairy tale. That I'm telling you to give you this new story to put in your library of your mind. But this is a real story. And this story continues on, it will continue for eternity. We will be reminiscing about this story for eternity. This is an eternal word.

And so I think, I keep thinking of the verse in Hebrews as living and active. So I think for us, as we sit before the word of God, and we read the story, and we think about the story, and allow it, allow the Lord to really minister to us to think of how redemptive the story is, what it speaks about the nature of God and Christ.

And so I think for all of us, as we're sharing the story with our children, we all enter into the place before God and His word. And so I think that's a really powerful place to allow us to be ministered to by the story, as well as our children.

We're not just laying information. We're all sitting before this living word. And also just remembering what the parts mean. My grandchildren are memorizing Luke two. And they've just asked such good questions. And by slowing that down, just to recognize what all the little parts of the story and how the Lord just put it together.

So I think as we retell the story over and over, act out the story, discuss the story, poke and prod at the story, I think together that unifies us as believers. And it helps us see the heritage that we have in our Christian faith. It reinforces that of the other truths, that as Christ walked on earth, His crucifixion, His resurrection, it just is part of that whole story.

And so I think for us, that is just something lovely about sitting before it as an agreeing with it and seeing how it continues to affect our life today. It's not just something in the past. It's something that currently works in our hearts and minds. So I think that's pretty powerful for us.

And then of course, exploring that with other people in our community, bringing people into your home. And just your neighbor, we went caroling and we sound terrible. We are not. - It's a joyful noise, Amy. - It's a joyful noise. A five-year-old had a harmonica that he played. - Oh, wow.

- But it was delightful because we just have a few neighbors that we know that live alone. And that was just really easy. And I think a way of extending yourself in simple ways to community, invite someone over or take them a cup of tea, have your kids do things that make a gift.

I mean, it's not hard to do that just to slather a pine cone with some peanut butter and take it next door. I think we as believers have such a beautiful gift and I think we can extend that gift too in a natural way and helping children recognize that that's part of the Christmas story too.

Jesus gave all sorts of people. And so to look for opportunities, again, to minister and to share that, what we've come, as we've explored, to share that joy with other people is really powerful as well. - Yes, it is. That is, that's beautiful. And such so many good ideas, families, for exploring together.

Simplifying Advent by exploring might really lead your family to experience the Christmas story in a new, a fresh, a deeper way this season. And we will be glad to have been part of that. Amy, thank you so much for talking to me and sharing some of these great ideas with our families.

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It's just greatwolf.com. And to claim your CC discount, use code CLAS432A. To claim your discount, use code CLAS432A. A magical Great Wolf Lodge family exploration might just be in your future. Well, families, I have enjoyed spending this time together with you, and I hope that your advent is getting simpler by the minute as you pray together, play together, read together, explore together, and serve together.

See you next time. Bye-bye. (gentle music) you