Hello, everybody. It's Sam and Sydney from the Financial Samurai podcast. Happy holidays. In this final episode of 2023, we just wanted to recap some of our favorite episodes, highlight what we've been doing, some wins and losses, as well as understanding extrinsic versus intrinsic motivators. So how are you feeling, Sydney, about the year?

I'm feeling okay. Usually around this time of year, I feel a little bit better, but I feel that this year was kind of tough in the first half for myself at least, but it's picked up a lot in the end of third quarter and fourth quarter. So I'm feeling a lot better now definitely than I was in the first half of the year.

Tired though with the holidays, it's a lot. How about you? How are you feeling? I am absolutely exhausted. I haven't felt this exhausted since my banking days. We recorded 65 episodes in 2023, so that is more than one a week, and that is 35 episodes more than our goal.

And I think part of that was because I finally learned how to use this podcast software to interview other people. So the whole world opened up and it was really fun to interview other people. However, every single episode takes hours and hours to record, to edit, to produce, and that really kind of took a lot out of me.

Also, I published 156 new posts on Financial Samurai, so that's three posts a week. And that's been going on for over 14 years now, and July 2024 will be the 15th anniversary of Financial Samurai. So I'm exhausted. Exhausted for sure. That's a lot that you've done, not just this year, but in the whole course of Financial Samurai.

And it's just – actually, if I only wrote and recorded podcasts, I would be totally fine. But of course, as you know, we have two little ones and they take a lot of time, a lot of patience, a lot of love. And that really – it's one of those things where it's not so much the cost of kids, it's actually the time it takes to raise kids and the energy required because you have to be present.

And one of the things that I found out most was one of my goals for this year was to teach our son to swim. And then he finally swam after we took off his floaties this summer. And if you want to learn how to be present, you should teach your children how to swim.

It will teach you presence. It will teach you focus. It will teach you patience because you can't look away. You can't look away for more than two seconds, I would say. Otherwise, anything could happen and bad things could happen when it comes to swimming. Yeah. I totally feel you.

I didn't do much time in the water with the kids this year, but I was in the water some and yeah, it's a lot. Just taking care of kids in general takes a lot of energy. It's rewarding, no doubt, but it also takes a lot of energy and focus.

Yeah, absolutely. So out of the 65 episodes, Sydney, what were some of your favorites? First one that comes to mind was the Shawn Livingston episode that you did. I really enjoyed that dialogue. I also loved the Mike Katchmark episode. That was one of the crown jewels I think of the whole year.

Amazing insights into such a huge lawsuit. I really am looking forward to seeing how the real estate industry is going to change for the better for consumers. I also really enjoyed the Charlie Albright episode. Between the ones that we did, I liked the full benefit episode that we did.

Then the discussions that we had about deciding whether or not we should buy a home. I thought those were some great conversations that we had. How about your favorites? Yeah, I definitely loved talking to Shawn Livingston, four-time NBA champ. It's just amazing that someone was able to win not once, but four times, three as a player, one as an executive.

I mean, talk about an amazing, amazing ride from knee injury during his initial years to lasting 15 years in the NBA. The average NBA career is only four and a half years and most people don't win championships. One of the key things that Shawn taught me to be great, to be successful, is to keep showing up and do the things you have to do even when you don't want to do them.

That really resonated with me this year because I would have to admit many times on a Saturday night or a Saturday morning, I didn't want to write the newsletter for Sunday morning because I was tired. I was thinking, "Come on, it's Saturday. Why can't I just relax and spend time with the kids or just veg out a little bit?" But I kept showing up and I wrote.

As I wrote, it's a muscle. You just keep on getting better. But to be honest, sometimes I just didn't want to do it. Thank you, Shawn, for coming on the Financial Samurai Podcast. I also like Mike Ketchmark, who is the trial attorney who found the real estate industry or the National Association of Realtors, Keller Williams and some other brokerage guilty of collusion.

If you think about it, over the past 20 years, commission rates in almost every single industry has declined and is close to zero except for the real estate industry. Why is that? Well, there's this powerful lobbying group out there and this powerful system out there that keeps commissions high.

I also liked Jamie Fiori Higgins. She was a managing director at Goldman Sachs. I think she started a year before me, same at One York Plaza, and she was able to get to MD. She described her journey and told amazing stories in a wonderful book called Bully Markets, which I highly recommend anybody read over the winter break, summer vacation, spring break.

It's so entertaining. It's so fun. I really enjoyed that conversation. Those were my three favorites. Yes. Some amazing, amazing conversations you've had throughout the year and wonderful highlights. Looking back on the year, what were some of your top wins and losses? One of the wins, financially speaking, was that the stock market did better than expected.

I was like 40% chance we'd be up 10%, which means 60% chance we'd be not up 10%. Maybe 23% chance we'd be down again. The S&P 500 closed up 24%, which is huge. Given we have about 30% of our net worth in the S&P 500 mostly, that was a positive.

Now on the negative, real estate, I expected an 8% decline in real estate prices, median real estate prices. It looks like that's what happened according to the St. Louis Fed data. But if you look at other median home price data, like the Case-Shiller and other indices like the Freddie Mac Index, it shows prices were up 3% to 4%.

It just depends on where you look. But here, at least in San Francisco, prices were down, probably mid-single digits, which was fine. Our real estate portfolio probably declined by about 5%, but we mostly own single-family homes with great ocean views, so they outperformed, I would say. So financially speaking, I thought we were going to see a 3.5%, maybe 4% decline in net worth, where we saw an 8.5% increase in net worth.

So that was an upside surprise. Another win was being able to teach our son how to swim. That was just awesome to see, and now he's swimming down 10 feet and grabbing plastic octopuses and fishies and rockets. It's really cool to see. And so I was really, really gung-ho about that.

So I said, "Hey, why not teach our daughter to swim?" And at 3.5%, she flung off her floaties and she started to swim as well. So it's been great. Those are kind of things that stick out most to me. How about you? First thing that pops into my mind was getting my passport replaced and getting my mom to Japan and home safely.

I had a lot of work to do before that to prepare for this trip because I'm helping her with some family matters that we need to square away. So the trip was successful. That was a huge win. I also learned how to edit podcasts, which wasn't something that I had planned to do when I started the year, but it's actually been a really helpful skill.

So for those of you who are listening, there's a good chance that I had to edit out a bunch of pauses or ums or sounds in the background. And it's been a really fun learning experience that I think has hopefully improved your listening experience. And another thing is we started to dive into your upcoming second book.

We did a lot of brainstorming, putting together the ideas for each of the chapters, and I helped with getting a lot of research prepared. So I'm really excited about where that's going into 2024. That's right. We are writing another book. And that's actually one of the reasons why I felt more tired and stressed in 2023 because writing a book takes a lot of work.

Some people write books full time for a living, especially with these type of contracts and this type of commitment to Portfolio Penguin, which is one of the top publishers, nonfiction publishers in the world. So taking on that challenge was tough. So it's not just one book deal. It's a two book deal after Buy This, Not That.

And then speaking of Buy This, Not That, it's so funny because the book went on to be a Wall Street Journal bestseller. And I was contacted by a reporter from the Wall Street Journal who asked me about my interest in collecting books. And if you don't know this, I collect books.

I collect rare Chinese art, coins, baseball cards. I collect anything there is in existence. I don't know. I've done that since I was a kid. I don't know if you remember like Cabbage Patch Kids and all that. I would have collected that too, but I didn't have money back then.

But in terms of collecting books, it's interesting because he asked me, how do you identify books to collect? And I say, well, I look for up and coming or relatively unknown authors. And I look for first print editions. And if they're signed, great, because books that are signed during the pandemic, I think are more valuable because there was a throttling down a supply of signed books.

And so I got to thinking about my book, our book, Buy This, Not That. And it's first edition, first print. And it's interesting, there's typos in it where the editor typed in the word debt, as in D-E-P-T instead of D-E-B-T. And he did that several times. I was like, oh, what did you guys do that for?

But anyway, the funny thing is if there is an error or typo in the first print, it actually makes the books more valuable. So after the Wall Street Journal reporter contacted me and the story will probably come out over the next 30 days, I was like, well, maybe I should buy more of my books because they're trading so inexpensively on Amazon at a discount.

I'll just sign my book and stockpile that supply and then sit on it for 20 years and watch it increase in value potentially, because I also know I'm going to write another book. And if these subsequent books grow in popularity and become just more famous and all that stuff, the value of that first edition, first print, Buy This, Not That will also go up.

So for me, I'm like, oh, $18 to buy my own book? And actually, I can get a discount as an author. That might be a good investment for 2024. So sorry for that side note tangent, but I just thought it was interesting. So yes, book, that is a work in progress, but that also really gave me stress because I had to think about it.

And this mental energy to create, it does take a lot of energy. It does take a lot out of me. It's just kind of like when you do a podcast or have a meeting after 30 minutes or an hour, I don't know, for me, sometimes I just want to go take a nap.

Naps are critical. Also I forgot to share some of my fails. One of my goals in 2023 was to see my parents twice. That sounds sad, but they live in Honolulu and I only saw them once. I flew them out in June along with my sister and her boyfriend and it was a great time.

Great to see the kids. I have this dream that our kids will get to know their grandparents. It seems like a basic dream, but it's surprisingly the hardest thing I've been trying to do for years now. And so I've only saw them once, which is not twice. So that's a fail.

The other failure is I injured my back, lower back twice. The first time was sitting cross-legged on the ground. I was signing books for a Maui fundraiser. I was able to sign 280 books and send them individually to subscribers of the newsletter who donated $65 or more to the Maui Strong Fund or other similar funds to support the Maui victims.

And after an hour of signing, my back just gave out. I felt this crumbling of my lower vertebrae and I couldn't get up. So I had to call you or I texted you to help me get up and sit on the sofa. You remember that? Yes, I remember that.

It was terrifying. I couldn't believe it. I mean, I like to sit on the floor. It's just the way I am. But it just gave out. And I think there was like this sadness every single time I was writing a note and signing each book about why there was so much devastation.

How could this have happened? And so I really believe in the mind-body connection. And one of my favorite books is Dr. Sarno's Healing Back Pain. If you have chronic pain, you got to read that book because the mind really can debilitate or uplift the body. I truly believe that.

And then the second time I injured my lower back was 8.15 p.m. at night in Golden Gate Park. I guess I was only warming up for like five, six minutes playing against these 24 to 28-year-olds in pickleball. And the very first point, there was a dink, which is called a short drop, and I went to lunge after it.

And then I just jammed some nerves in my lower vertebrae. And then for 30 hours, I couldn't really move after that either. So it's pretty sad, folks. As you age, I think your mind ages slower than your body. Not everyone, but at least for me, I feel I'm much more with it than my body.

It's starting to fade faster. And so if you don't align your mind and your body correctly, injuries could happen. Yeah, it's not fun getting old. Not at all. It's not at all. So I wanted to conclude by talking about intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation. This was a surprise epiphany to me because many people have asked me, how do you keep on writing for so long, so consistently?

And I tell them I have this intrinsic motivation to write because I enjoy the process of writing. I also want to chronicle my life so I can provide some touch points for our children just in case I were to die young. I have this not constant, but I have this maybe quarterly reminder that life is short because when I was young, 13 years old, my friend who was 15 years old died in a car accident.

And ever since that time, I've just thought to myself, wow, I could be gone any minute. So let's not waste it. And it's really one of the main reasons why I decided to retire early at 34 because I wanted to hedge against an early death. I felt every year I lived after 15 years old was a blessing because my friend didn't live past 15.

And it's stuck with me all this time, ever since I was 13. And so I felt intrinsically motivated to do as much as possible in my work, in my creativity. And that was my answer. And then so one day, I remember this year, I recorded a podcast and I pressed publish.

And I took the kids out for three to four hours. And I came back and I asked you, did you listen to the podcast? What do you think? And then you were like, oh, no, I haven't listened to it yet. So truthfully, I was a little bit disappointed. I was like, oh, okay, well, no worries.

You're probably busy doing other things. You got a lot of things going on. And then so I thought nothing of it after that. But the next day, I published a new post. And I was out with the kids for two, three hours or whatever it was. And I said, what do you think about the post?

And you're like, oh, I didn't read it yet. And then at that point, I was disappointed. Because the one person who I want to read my posts and listen to my podcast more than anybody else is you, because you're my partner in crime. You've been my partner in crime since we were in college, and you didn't listen or read.

And again, you're a busy person, you have plenty of things to do. You always eventually read it and listen to the podcast. But I remember at that point thinking to myself, huh, well, if she's not reading or listening, well, why continue? Why bother? Why bother writing three times a week?

That's a lot and I'm tired. I remember that really clearly. And then I had another realization. And that realization was that I had miscategorized what intrinsic and extrinsic motivation is regarding you. So extrinsic motivation generally is like accolades, awards, money, promotions, right? Those are extrinsic motivators. Intrinsic motivators are things like, you know, your own self desire, basically, something that drives you.

And I had mistakenly categorized your affection or your acknowledgement of my work as an intrinsic motivator. But it's really an extrinsic motivator. I just want to feel appreciated by you for the work that I do, which helps keep our lifestyle going. And so as soon as I recognized that and moved you from intrinsic to extrinsic, I stopped feeling sorry for myself.

I said, you know what? I have to do this because I want to do it. I want to do it because I enjoy creating. I enjoy helping others and helping people think about their financial problems and helping solve these financial problems, which I've gone through many a times since 2009.

And there are always new problems to face with new suboptimal and optimal decisions. And so once I realized that, I was like, ah, okay. And then I kept on going and I didn't quit my cadence. What are your thoughts on extrinsic motivators and intrinsic motivators? I totally hear what you're saying.

And when we have any type of misaligned expectations that can lead to disappointment, whereas if we're not expecting acknowledgement, then it doesn't really matter. We just are doing what we need to do or want to do for ourselves. No, that's absolutely right. For example, my mother doesn't read basically any of my posts.

And back in 2009, maybe I would have been disappointed. But now I'm like, oh, that's okay. I'm not writing for her. If she wants to figure out what I'm up to, then she can always pop over to Financial Samurai. But I'm just writing for myself and for the readers and producing for the listeners.

And that has made me pretty happy overall and pretty disciplined in terms of the creation side of things. But what I do realize is that some people need a greater kick in the pants than others. And I think everybody realizes that we don't fully appreciate what we have until it's gone.

And I am just interested in knowing why some people need to be pushed more than others. What kind of self-discipline do you have to pursue your passions or the things that you want to do? What are the drivers that make you succeed in the things that you enjoy doing?

I would say when I was a student and when I was working in a traditional job, I had a lot of high expectations for myself. So I really wanted to make sure that I was doing the best that I could, that I was meeting all of the expectations that were required of my job, but going above and beyond that as well.

Because I like the feeling of being accomplished and doing things well. And I was very motivated to get promoted when I was working in a regular corporate environment. And outside of that, I think motivating factors would be doing something that's fun, something that can help other people and earn money in the process.

I think all those things are good motivators to work hard and succeed. How about you? I've always had some internal drive to do the best that I can because I really feel icky, feel bad when I don't give it everything I've got and I fail. Because if you've given it everything you've got, everything, and you fail, it's okay.

You did your best. What more can you do? But if you half-ass it, you give 70%, 80%, even just 90% and you fail, I personally will always regret not having tried my best. So I don't know where this intrinsic motivation comes from, whether it's playing tennis or pickleball or writing.

It's like Miyagi-san, I don't know, in The Karate Kid, it's like karate do, you've got to do it, don't do it in the middle or otherwise you're going to get squished like a grape. Don't do it half-ass. You want to do it as best as you can. Do you have that type of guilt in terms of not doing the best that you can or do you feel more like, "Eh, it's okay.

Good enough is good enough." I feel like this is a trick question. I don't know. I mean, let's just think about it for our children, right? Or the people that we love. How do we instill that self-motivation or is it genetic? It just can't be taught. You either got to want it yourself or that's it.

You can't do it. That's a tough question when it comes to kids. I don't know. I do feel that, at least with our kids, they both have this sense of wanting to do things on their own where it's just this inner drive of, "Let me do it. I want to do it myself." Between the two of them, I definitely see it in her more, but I think both of them want to do well in the things that they like to do.

Right now at age four and six, it's playing with toys or drawing, something like that. Something incredibly complicated. I do think they feel proud when they do well at something. That's interesting you bring that up because I relate to them. When they make a drawing or do something and they say, "Look, Mommy.

Look, Daddy." That's the same thing how I feel when I write or I produce an episode. I'm like, "Hey, guys. Did you read it? Did you look at it?" I feel the exact same way. I think all of us crave kind of acknowledgement, especially creators who put themselves out there.

They just want to be read, seen, heard, and acknowledged. That's all. We don't want lots of money. We just want to be heard. Maybe someone leaves a comment and says, "Hey, good job and here are my thoughts." It's actually a really simple dynamics. You put yourself out there, you create, you hope to be recognized.

I think the answer to my own question is that self-determination is mostly genetic. 70% genetic. 30% can be taught. I think what we have to do is teach by example. This summer, I made our son and daughter do landscaping. We picked up rocks. We bagged weeds, did all that.

I got down deep and dirty. I hope they saw and appreciate that and remember that so that it's not just me telling them what to do but I'm actually participating with my hands and knees as well. I think we can only show and do our best, but I think 70% is genetics.

The more I see it, it's like no matter what we say or do, we just can't change them as much as we want, which is really liberating because then we can just let go and let nature take its course. What do you think about that? Yeah, I do think there's only so much that we can do.

I definitely will continue to give it my all and do my best to turn them into good kids and good adults later on. At some point, we have to let go. There's only so much that we can do. They are their own individual people who are going to make their own decisions as adults.

At that point, there's really not much that we can do. I definitely want to give it my all along the way. I think that's the other thing. Let's forget about kids. Let's talk about you and me, partners, friends. We can tell people to do something all day long, but at the end of the day, it's up to them to do it.

It's up to you to do it, listeners. I can make suggestions on asset allocation or saving more money or finding side hustles, but at the end of the day, it's up to you to do it. If you want to do it bad enough, you're going to find a way to do it.

If you don't want to do it bad enough, you're not going to do it. I think long term, everything is pretty rational. That is really a great way to let go of any kind of frustrations. That's a way that I've been able to cope with some of my frustrations when a reader says, "I just can't do it." I'm like, "Okay, well, it's probably because you prefer to do something else." That's our little life lesson and epiphanies for 2023.

For 2024, I'm excited. I'm always excited in the new year. We plan to release at least a couple episodes a month. Hopefully, we'll have some continued good dialogue between you and me. Hopefully, I'll be able to find some other great guests to come on the podcast. Maybe we'll even get some sponsors.

Who knows? Each podcast takes several hours to record, edit, and produce. We always appreciate your reviews, your shares. It's what keeps us motivated. We really want to thank you for your support in 2023 and in the new year. Thanks so much and happy holidays again. Happy new year, everybody.

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