Well, digital pornography is ubiquitous. So how do we prepare our sons and daughters to win the war against the porn culture all around them? It's a great question from a mom named Molly. Pastor John, thanks for this podcast and all the times you address parenting. My question for you is this, what is the best way to prepare our children to go out on their own in our pornified culture?

I have two young boys and seeing so many good, godly men fall victim to various kinds of lust makes me deeply sad to think about my own boys becoming more aware. I know at the end of the day the Lord is sovereign, but is there anything specifically I and my husband can do now to help them to see what is truly valuable and to prepare them for these digital temptations ahead?

Well, I doubt that I have any greater wisdom here than Molly and her husband do, but I'll give a list of things that they can at least compare their list to and see if there might be one or two things that they haven't thought of that might be helpful.

And of course, I want to make clear that when you make a list like this, each one of these is a reality. It's a massive reality. It's not just, oh, here's another thing on the list to tick off. So I hope we're all aware that even though I'll go through these pretty quickly, every one of them is a work of the spirit that needs our whole heart.

There's no guarantee that our children will turn out to be believers or walk in the ways that we want them to. But I do phrase the question like this. Why do some children trust dad and mom and their way and want to conform their lives to the vision of their parents and then make it their own someday?

And other children, almost from the beginning, seem to treat their parents as if they're foolish or unwise or unworthy of trust, always pushing against and pushing against instead of saying, well, of course, mom and dad know best. They're older than I am. And they've been around the block a few times.

And why is that? Why do some children, even in the same family, do that? So what we want is strategies that God might be pleased to use to create in our children a deep personal trust in us as parents at first, and then through us, finally, a trust in the true and living God as our children experience their faith as completely their own.

So let's keep that in mind. This is there's no guarantee here. Children in the same family treated the same way can be resistant or compliant. And our goal is not external conformity to rules. It's inward love for God and his way. So here's my list. One, children need a humble heart in order to comply with mom and dad and with the scripture.

So pray earnestly that they would be humble under the mighty hand of God. God would give them the gift of deep humility. Number two, seek to be utterly authentic in your own love for Christ and your own joy in him and your own delight in his ways. You can't force upon a child satisfaction in a God that does not look as if he's satisfying mom and dad.

Three, saturate your family with scripture, morning, noon and night. Talk of it when you get up, when you go to the meals, when you're riding in the car, talk of the word of God and seek to help your children treat the Bible as the absolute authority in your life.

Pray that the children will grow up believing that this book is the highest authority in the universe under God. Number four, highlight in the Bible the superior joy that comes from knowing Christ rather than all the forms of sin they might pursue. Make this a recurrent theme in all your teaching.

Even Paul in saying that you count everything as lost because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus. Help them flesh that out and see that's why we're going to obey. There's a better, more joyful, more lasting, more satisfying way with God than with sin. Five, tell stories again and again from the Bible, from society, from history, from missions about young people, young men, young women who did amazingly sacrificial things for the joy that was set before them in God.

In the end, most of our children grow up craving significance as much as they crave other things and they need to know where do you find real significance, doing something that really counts with your life. And those stories, Daniel, David, Timothy, and then missionary stories and military stories from World War I and II and the Civil War, just different things like that where our children will hear stories of young people who did amazing acts of bravery.

Number six, make the gospel the constant refrain of all of our teaching. I mean, keep in front of the children that Christ died for sinners and that he provides a way of preserving and restoring fellowship with himself when we have failed. All children fail. They all do bad things.

Their conscience bothers them. They know they are sinners. They need to be reminded again and again about the gospel way of handling failure and sin, not the world's way. Otherwise they're going to become secretive and hide their sins because they don't know how to settle them with God, let alone with their parents.

But if the parents are constantly holding out the gospel way of dealing with failure, then they might keep their children from going underground with regard to their sins. Number seven, don't assume that all is well in their hearts. Probe. Ask more than the brief, "How are you doing?" question.

Get alone with them in the seclusion of a bedroom or in the car or a restaurant where just you and that one child go. Dig into their hearts, their feelings, their fears, their hope, the challenges they feel at school and with their other siblings. And don't settle for a glib, superficial one-word answer.

Tell them stories about your own feelings as a child, your own failures and sins and struggles so that they'll be open that way. Few things, I think, soften a child and give them hope than to know mom and dad are not infallible. Number eight, help your children find good Christian, godly friends.

The Bible says that bad company corrupts good morals in 1 Corinthians 15. Of course, we want our children to grow up and be good evangelists someday among unbelievers, but it's a mistake to think that finding their closest friends among unbelievers is a good preparation for young minds. There's a difference between loving unbelievers and loving what they love.

And for young, impressionable minds, the methods of spiritual warfare against the powers of darkness are not yet in full force. Number nine, be sure, if you can, that your children have a good church where they're forming the habits of corporate worship and discipleship. Let them see you, mom and dad, love your church and worship and sing and pray and become active church men and women.

That's what you want them to be. They need to see that. Number 10, establish in your home protections on all your electronic devices so that the child is subject to the same scrutiny as mom and dad are, or vice versa, mom and dad are to the child. Don't treat them as untrustworthy while you pretend to be above scrutiny.

Let them know that the whole family regards the dangers of pornography and its easy accessibility, as well as other superficial distractions. Let them know that mom and dad share in the same concern, the same burden, the same susceptibility and the same accountability. And finally, number 11, I would suggest that mom and dad form a relationship with one or two other couples to form a plan to fast and pray together, say once a week or so, where you skip a lunch, show up, pray for 30 minutes just for your children, each other's children, that God would exert supernatural power to work in your children all the dreams you have for their godliness.

And I'm sure there are other important things that I haven't said, but I'll mention these, these 11 in the hope that they might stimulate our friends to, Molly, to go deeper and seek her own way with her kids. That's gold Pastor John, thank you. And this episode reminds me of episode 948, how do we prepare our kids for suffering?

It's a different topic, but a similar model here of counsel to parents on parenting. Episode 948, how do we prepare our kids for suffering? Over at our online home, you can explore all 1250 of those past episodes. You can scan a list of our most popular ones, read full transcripts, even send us a question of your own, and there you can also find episode number 948.

Go to desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn. And to get new episodes delivered to you three times per week, subscribe to the Ask Pastor John podcast in your favorite podcast app. Well, should we raise our hands during musical worship or should we keep them safely in our pockets? It's a great question with a surprising twist of an answer really, and that's when we return on Monday.

I'm your host, Tony Reinke, sorry to leave you in suspense, but have a great weekend and we'll see you then. Page PAGE of NUMPAGES www.verbalink.com Page PAGE of NUMPAGES www.verbalink.com Page PAGE of NUMPAGES www.verbalink.com you