(upbeat music) - Welcome back to the Ask Pastor John podcast. This week we welcome author and speaker, Dr. Paul David Tripp. Most recently, Paul is the author of the book, "Awe, Why It Matters for Everything We Think, Say, and Do." And to prove it, this week we're talking about how awe matters for our spiritual growth, our Bible intake, our ministry aims, and even our news consumption, our weight loss attempts, our anxieties, our parenting methods, and our expectations of marriage and romantic love, all of that.

And today I wanna talk about parenting, Paul, because you mentioned parenting in the book, and you're finishing up another full book on parenting too. So explain for us why you're writing another parenting book. - Well, frankly, the thing that initiated the book was Crossway came and asked me if I'd be interested in doing a parenting book, and I had no interest in that at all.

But I began to reflect on conversations I've had over the years with people who have read my brother, Ted's book, "Shepherding Child's Heart," has read my book, "Age of Opportunity" about parenting teens. I've been concerned about the way those books are used by parents. And I thought as well meaning those parents are, the thing that was missing was the understanding of the gospel underpinnings of those books.

And so this new parenting book basically is 15 gospel principles that begin every chapter, and then those gospel principles are applied to the process of parenting. I think it's a way of looking at parenting through the lens of the gospel of Jesus Christ in a very practical way. - Interesting.

It dawns on me now that what awes my kids and what awes me are often very different things, different foods and music styles and movies. How does awe inform my work as a dad and our work as parents? - Well, one of the things you have to realize is you're never just dealing with behavior problems in your children.

You're always also dealing with heart problems. And the central focus of heart problems is this issue of awe. You have to look at your child and you have to think that this child was designed by God for awe. What that means is the awe of something will capture his heart.

And what captures his heart will control his behavior. Let me give an example. Young children are naturally in awe of themselves, inserting themselves in the center of the world, making it all about them. So that battle about what to eat, I won't eat my peas, is not because I've studied diet and I realize that peas don't need to be part of my diet.

It's not about diet at all. It's about awe. If I'm in awe of myself, then I do not want to be ruled. I do not want to be told what to do. You will not tell me what to put in my mouth. Now to treat that just as a diet issue sort of misses the point of what's really initiating that or when to go to sleep or what's appropriate to wear where or who my friends should be or what I should watch on television or look at on my computer.

All of those are subsets of a different issue that if I'm in awe amnesiac, I think the universe is about me and I should be able to control and dictate what I want to do, how I want to do it and when I want to do it. So what I want to do is expose my children to one who is greater, to use every tool that's available to me to blow them away with the stunning glory of God.

Now God's helped us because he's made a world that reveals him so it's not unnatural to talk about God all the time. It's positively unnatural not to. Here's where all this goes. It's not enough just to fight the battle of behavior. You have to fight the battle of awe on behalf of your children as well.

- Yeah, this is so huge. So if I understand your concern, rule-centered prohibition parenting cannot do this but how do rules and awe work together? - So children need authority in their lives. They need their lives to be directed by God's law. God's law is a good thing. The thing that you need to realize is all reveals sin, all gives me a guide for my living but law can never rescue my heart.

And so as I'm laying out reasonable rules for my children that are an extension of God's revealed law in scripture, I want to also introduce them to the amazing wisdom, the amazing love, the amazing grace, the presence and power of the one who is the giver of that law because what law is meant to do like everything else that God gives us is drive us to Him.

And so wouldn't it be sad to divorce God from his law and to make it a moral standard that has no redeemer behind it? That's not biblical Christianity. That's not a biblical view of life. And so I want to use every moment of rule introduction, every moment of correction, every moment of discipline to point back to this amazing God who is wiser than we are, who knows what's best for us and in love reveal that to us.

- Well, it sounds like your new book is gonna be a great one. When is your new parenting book out? - I have no idea. - Okay, we'll be looking for it. Be watching for Paul Tripp's new book on parenting from Crossway, released sometime in 2016. The title, at least I do know, it's "Parenting, the 15 Gospel Principles that Can Radically Change Your Family." I am really looking forward to it.

And Paul joins us again tomorrow and we will look at all as it relates to marriage and romantic love. I'm your host, Tony Reinke. We'll see you then.