Pastor John, we've received a number of emails that have asked a very similar question asked by moms who are interested to hear your thoughts about their role in raising sons. The first thing I would say to mom is teach the boy, teach your son. If you're married, that is if you're not a single mom, but if you're married, you and he together teach the whole counsel of God to your son.

Hear my son your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. Proverbs 1 8. My son, keep your father's commandment and forsake not your mother's teaching. Proverbs 6 20. And there's that wonderful story, right, of Lois and Eunice in 2nd Timothy where Paul says to this young man, "Continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it." 2nd Timothy 3 14.

And who's that? Chapter 1 verse 5, "I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that first dwelt in your grandmother, Lois, and your mother, Eunice. And now I am sure dwells in you, because we know from Acts that his father wasn't converted. He was a Greek, and he wasn't a Christian.

And so it appears that Paul chose as part of his missionary band a young, and I think we would say timid, man who had been almost entirely schooled by his mother and his grandmother. And that, I think, should raise the stakes of a mom, a single mom in particular, or a grandmother.

Raise the stakes very high as to your mighty influence in shaping the life of a son. The next thing I'd say is expect obedience from your son. Children, obey your parents—not just your father, but your parents in the Lord. Require that this boy recognize God's authority in you, and punish disobedience, and require and reward obedience.

Then I would say model strong womanhood. 1 Peter 3, "As you are her children, Sarah's children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening." The godly woman is the fearless woman. That's what I mean when I say strong womanhood. Or Proverbs 31, "Strength and dignity are her clothing; she laughs at the time to come." So a son should look to a mother not as a weak woman who's always anxious about tomorrow, but this woman should be like a oak of stable righteousness who laughs at the time to come, and communicates that when you have God you can be strong and laugh in the face of uncertain futures.

And then I would say honor the leadership and the protective instincts of your husband. As the church submits to Christ, wives submit in everything. So a son should see a strong woman deferring to the initiatives and leadership, the spiritual leadership of a strong man. Now I'm of course assuming that this man is a believer and is taking that, and you do what you can if that's not the case.

But if you've got an intact spiritual marriage, what a son needs is to see that woman doing that. In the home I grew up in, it was stunning. It was just stunning. My dad was away from home two-thirds of the year. My mother did everything. She was omnicompetent. She taught me just about everything I know when he was away, and she never once gave me the impression she couldn't do anything.

She could paint the house, she could push a wheelbarrow. I watched the sweat drip off the end of her long nose as she weeded the Bermuda grass out and showed me how to take care of the yard. She taught me how to make french fries in deep grease and wait until it's hot, otherwise they're gonna get soggy.

She taught me how to flip pancakes and wait till the bubbles appear around the edge because if you turn it over before then they're gonna spill out over the edge of the spatula, and on and on and on. She was pouring out wisdom, and when my dad came home, my mother beamed with joy that he could now lead in prayer at the table.

He could now say, "Let's go to church." He could now say, "Let's go out to eat." He could pull the chair out for her when he sat her down. He would open the door for her when he went through it. I watched all, I watched those, that dance, that choreography, and I marveled at my mother.

That in his absence she could be everything, and in his presence she loved it when he took that kind of initiative. That's what we need to show our sons so that they are not belittling or demeaning in any way when they're taking initiative for the sake of a woman.

And I would say, point the son to strong manhood in Scripture, in history, in fiction, in media, in her husband. And I don't mean necessarily physical brawn. Don't give the impression to the boy that he's not masculine if he's not an athlete. What I mean is true masculine, protective, initiative-taking, courage and strength.

And a guy who's into art, who loves the arts, has a more sensitive spirit, don't let him think he's less a man. Don't give the impression, "Oh, you're not really a man if you don't hunt and carry a gun and tackle football." No, no, no, no. There is a masculinity that is strong and initiative-taking and courageous and protective, and she needs to show him that in all the ways she possibly can.

And maybe one last thing. Expect, expect strong manhood from him. Give the boy responsibility early on. Ask for his manly behavior. Insist on politeness towards his sister or towards you, letting you go first through the door and showing him how to open a door, showing him how to use respectful language, training him how to treat girls in a respectful and protective way.

So those are some ideas. I'm sure there's there's lots more, but I think, Tony, that a mom and a dad should see God's wisdom in creating homes with a mother and a father, both of them bringing something remarkably unique to the sexual wholeness of both sons and daughters. So mom and dad are both important for son, mom and dad are both important for daughter, and if you're in a marriage where you're a single mom or a single dad, God will have mercy.

God will provide. God will make up the differences if you keep all these things in mind, I think, and make up for the losses in various ways. Thank you, Pastor John, and thank you for listening to this podcast. Please email your questions to us at AskPastorJohn@DesiringGod.org. At DesiringGod.org you'll find thousands of other free resources from John Piper.

I'm your host Tony Reinke, thanks for listening.